America

A country situated in the Southern part of North America (that's not South America by the way) that is full of citizens who are convinced that America is the only free country in the world and if you said something bad about the government anywhere else, you would be arrested, tortured, and eventually killed. In reality, there are countries with more freedom than America. Most Americans have not left the USA, therefore, are not certain that other countries exist. Also, the majority of Americans are heavily geographically challenged and are convinced that: A. The USA is a continent. B. England is about the size of a paper clip with a population of about 12 who are stuck in the 6th century. C. Haiti, Cuba, and other Carribean Islands are in Asia. D. Canada isn't a real country. E. America is the most technologically advanced nation in the world. F. God should bless America...and no place else. G. All immmigrants are illegal. H. England would be speaking German if America didn't step into WWII. I. Russians are still communist (sometimes contradicted with the question, "whats a communist?"). J. Everybody who is not American hates their country, loves America, and would die to live there. K. The English language originated in America, and the English themselves speak a totally different language. L. There is a language called "American". M. America is the only country with electricty. N. If you are not religious, you should be treated like crap. O. America rules the world. P. The American president is the world president and the most powerful man in the world. Q. England is not free, it is ruled strictly by a queen who will have you beheaded for saying "I hate the queen!" R. You should be able to die in combat before being able to drink alcohol. S. Gasoline is the most environmental-friendly thing on Earth (more so than trees). T. Walking, rather than driving, to a store that is 1/6 of a mile away from you is considered "suspicious activity". U. Allowing everybody to freely have a gun is a good thing. V. The local grocery store must sell guns and ammo (just in case the Commie Russians turn up). W. America is the only country allowed to posses nuclear weapons (if you want to borrow one, just ask). X. Canada consists of a bunch of eskimos who live with wolves and elk. Y. America is the largest country in the world. Z. The English take a break everyday at about 4 PM for "tea-time" which consists of sipping tea in a tiny cup and saucer.