alfie

I don't know why everybody who has seen a terrible movie immediately defines a word by that terrible movie. But before Jude Law took a crap all over the cinematic arts, an "alfie" was and always will be a "dog fart." Dog farts smell way worse than human farts. But dogs are better than humans because by-and-large they are much less harmful than humans are. So though their powers of farting assault our olfactory perceptions to the extreme, we have come up with a word that seems nice since the offense comes from the butts of Gods noblest creatures- the dog, K-9 Magee, man's best friend and companion. Hence an alfie is, was, and always will be what we call a dog fart.