Aberzombie

A peculiar specimen which infest college campuses and upscale suburban high schools across the North American landmass. Nominally a human being, the Aberzombie is easily identifiable by large advertisements worn on its chest and buttocks. It tends to come from wealthy stock, drives an SUV and mates exclusively with other Aberzombies. The musical taste of the Aberzombie is limited to bands like Dave Matthews and O.A.R. Its SUV is typically emblazoned with a sticker reading "DMB" so as to communicate its bland taste in music to potential mates. The Aberzombie is not without its natural enemies, however. Most prominent among them are independent thought and a sense of style. The Aberzombie will go to great lengths not to face such horrific ideas, most often by associating only with fellow Aberzombies. In the rare case that it is exposed to outside ideas/free thought, it will utilize its only defense mechanism: complaining that others are envious and simply cannot afford Abercrombie clothing.