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Gene Snitsky: Time Traveler

The year is 2033. The world is blanketed in chaos, as the war between man and machine heads toward a frighteningly close nuclear finale. Grown men cower with their women and children, hiding from the soulless creatures that move silently through the night. However, there is one who walks through the huddled masses, unafraid of the robot killers, instilling hope in all he meets. The world knows him as General “Gene” Snitsky, humanity’s last chance in The War To End All Wars. This is his story. “I have a job to do.” The gruff yet monotone voice echoed throughout the warehouse basement. Unlike most basements, however, this one is made of 3,000 tons of stainless steel and titanium, contains a multitude of high-radiation areas, and has surveillance systems covering every centimeter within 4 miles of the building. Before the hard times hit, the building also had Guinness on tap. Now, only Pabst Blue Ribbon flows through the slowly corroding pipes, but this is not the time for drinking. “Sir, you’ve established that. But I don’t see how traveling back in time to 2004 helps us in anyway. The machines will use their warheads anytime now, and the window for a preemptive strike is closing more with each passing hour. With all due respect, General, we need you here.” This type of insubordinate backtalk would normally be met by Snitsky’s stiff right hand, but Jeff Hardy was never afraid of taking risks. While not always the smoothest of performers, as Second-in-Command he knew the General better than anyone; one could argue that he existed simply to inspire him. Now around 60 years old, Hardy also knew the stakes were greater than ever, and that he had to ensure things ran smoothly and without error. Yes, at times the very fate of the world rested on Jeff Hardy not blowing spots. General Snitsky paused for a moment and looked at Jeff’s face, the middle-aged man’s neon green streaks illuminating the near-darkness. Why was there a blacklight in the time machine room anyway? He turned around and put his hands on a nearby table, palms flat as he bowed his head and leaned like a runner unable to catch his breath after a sprint. A heavy sigh escaped his lips; he never thought that, at 28, he would have to explain to a middle-aged former pro wrestler why he was responsible for the downfall of the entire human race. Rubbing his chin, he gathered himself and faced his right-hand man. Yes, he did have a job to do. First the truth, then the sacrifice. “Jeff, I’m…I’m not who you think I am. You see, you’ve known me for what, 10 years? And to you, I’ve always been General, I’ve always been Snitski. But I haven’t always worn this uniform and these tags…” He gripped the metal around his neck and stood entranced by the inscribed letters. Although it was only ten seconds, when he continued his voiced seemed ten years older. “These tags haven’t always said ‘Snitsky.’ They used to say…” He paused again, this time deliberately. He turned away again, closed his eyes, and lifted his head skyward. “Jeff, my name used to be…” He swallowed, fighting to say the word. “Kane. I'm the son of the man who murdered your brother."

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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Now this has been my favourite mug by far. I put the word of scrunkly on it just as i had envisioned. Now to know why i picked a scrunkly mug, we need to go back all the way to the year of 2016. It was a day like no other, the birds were tweeting. We were all laughing while playing in the playground. Then came that fateful moment. A cackle was heard screeching throughout the lands. I turned my head in complete and utter fear. Two seagulls stood there. One was cackling while a red liquid dropped from its mouth. The head of the seagull next to it was missing. The seagull had consumed its friend's head! A betrayal, no... a parley even! To this day I still hear the words which left that evil beast's beak. It said, "Awww, the scrunkly". It then flew off into the sunset, leaving nothing but chaos and carnage behind. Anyways 10/10 for the mug. Would buy again.

ethan v.Feb 3

Came in like ordered, solid mug

Clayton Y.Feb 3
✓ Verified Purchase

The mug arrived as shown and expected. But, it is an average mug and the cost is quite high. It's funny and good as a one time gift. If we needed several, the cost would be prohibited. Again, funny product and as expected.

Mark C.Feb 3
✓ Verified Purchase

Love it. I can't wait to give it as a gift yo

AT&T A.Feb 2
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This is lafayetti yummi yum yum Oui oui mon ami je m'appelle lafayette The lancelot of the revolutionary set I came from afar just to say "Bonsoir" Tell the king "Casse toi" Who's the best C'est moi

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de LafayetteFeb 2

Awesome purchase, I can't wait to show off my "Progressively Straight" mug at Starbucks.

KC H.Feb 1
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Mug was delivered undamaged just as ordered.

Eugene H.Feb 1
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My order came quickly. Packaged well. Great job.

Cheryl Q.Jan 31
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IT WAS MUG! CAME QUICK & SAID THING. HAVE NOT TASTED YET. NOT SMELL BAD, BUT DISHWASHER NONETHE LESS....

paul j.Jan 29
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Henceforth, I am unable to leave a negative review for this amazing cup.

D D.Jan 29

Good quality, just as pictured. Very pleased with it!

Lisa B.Jan 28
✓ Verified Purchase

Having my first cup of coffee in the new cup. Good idea to add new terms through individual contributions.

Bette M.Jan 27
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Review by Patrick M.

10/10 Looks exactly like the preview. Shipping was fast.

Patrick M.Jan 27
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This is for my granddaughter whom I used to call cutie patootie until she found out another meaning for patootie. Then she didn’t like the name so much! This will be a perfect gift for her! She is 16.

Kathy T.Jan 26
✓ Verified Purchase

Love the cups :) It reminds us of our sweet momma. I thought everyone knew the word "mommicked" but evidently it is an Eastern North Carolina thing...My sisters and I all married Northerner/ Yankees and they had never heard of the word. Thank you for a tender memory.

Patricia F.Jan 26
✓ Verified Purchase

Cup came in one piece and looks as nice as it does in the picture! Only note is just be mindful of any typos in the description of the definition, they will show up on the cup too! Other than that, no complaints!

David I.Jan 25
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This reminds me of the amazing teams i worked in!

phoenix d.Jan 24

great experience, with fast delivery. Thank you!

Jen O.Jan 24
✓ Verified Purchase

my grandma loved it!

Martha L.Jan 22

My grandma is HOOKED

Martha L.Jan 22
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