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Gene Snitsky: Time Traveler

The year is 2033. The world is blanketed in chaos, as the war between man and machine heads toward a frighteningly close nuclear finale. Grown men cower with their women and children, hiding from the soulless creatures that move silently through the night. However, there is one who walks through the huddled masses, unafraid of the robot killers, instilling hope in all he meets. The world knows him as General “Gene” Snitsky, humanity’s last chance in The War To End All Wars. This is his story. “I have a job to do.” The gruff yet monotone voice echoed throughout the warehouse basement. Unlike most basements, however, this one is made of 3,000 tons of stainless steel and titanium, contains a multitude of high-radiation areas, and has surveillance systems covering every centimeter within 4 miles of the building. Before the hard times hit, the building also had Guinness on tap. Now, only Pabst Blue Ribbon flows through the slowly corroding pipes, but this is not the time for drinking. “Sir, you’ve established that. But I don’t see how traveling back in time to 2004 helps us in anyway. The machines will use their warheads anytime now, and the window for a preemptive strike is closing more with each passing hour. With all due respect, General, we need you here.” This type of insubordinate backtalk would normally be met by Snitsky’s stiff right hand, but Jeff Hardy was never afraid of taking risks. While not always the smoothest of performers, as Second-in-Command he knew the General better than anyone; one could argue that he existed simply to inspire him. Now around 60 years old, Hardy also knew the stakes were greater than ever, and that he had to ensure things ran smoothly and without error. Yes, at times the very fate of the world rested on Jeff Hardy not blowing spots. General Snitsky paused for a moment and looked at Jeff’s face, the middle-aged man’s neon green streaks illuminating the near-darkness. Why was there a blacklight in the time machine room anyway? He turned around and put his hands on a nearby table, palms flat as he bowed his head and leaned like a runner unable to catch his breath after a sprint. A heavy sigh escaped his lips; he never thought that, at 28, he would have to explain to a middle-aged former pro wrestler why he was responsible for the downfall of the entire human race. Rubbing his chin, he gathered himself and faced his right-hand man. Yes, he did have a job to do. First the truth, then the sacrifice. “Jeff, I’m…I’m not who you think I am. You see, you’ve known me for what, 10 years? And to you, I’ve always been General, I’ve always been Snitski. But I haven’t always worn this uniform and these tags…” He gripped the metal around his neck and stood entranced by the inscribed letters. Although it was only ten seconds, when he continued his voiced seemed ten years older. “These tags haven’t always said ‘Snitsky.’ They used to say…” He paused again, this time deliberately. He turned away again, closed his eyes, and lifted his head skyward. “Jeff, my name used to be…” He swallowed, fighting to say the word. “Kane. I'm the son of the man who murdered your brother."

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

I got it in the mail. then The next day it was sleeping with My non Existant Gf

John C.Nov 20

I thought this mug was a bear.

MeNov 20

it is pretty good but not all of it describes me god bless all Nevaeh's

NevaehNov 20

i love it i love this mug my boyfriend got this for me as a gift i love it very much i highly recommend this for you or a loved one it is very good i am planning to get my mans one on his birthday i hope he will love it thanks guys for listening

gay elNov 20

EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :))))))))

Anderson C.Nov 19
Review by Mary P.

This was a phrase my husband and I made up even we first started dating. We laughed so hard while submitting it. The mug is perfect!

Mary P.Nov 19
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Urban Dictionary. Mixes truth with lies. Keeps a record. Thanks for the truthful parts, bro. 🙏💪✝️

Jesus C.Nov 18

I wish I had this mug I SOOOO wish I had this mug! I never find anything that has my name on it unless I have it custom made. I'm actually quite surprised that 'Lani' is on the Urban Dictionary... And the definition is pretty accurate ;)

Lani ConradNov 17

really awesome mug I gave this mug as a secret Santa gift and and my cousin still uses it to this day. It is truly a awesome mug and it deserves 5 stars.

dominiqueNov 17

i shit in it

mommy m.Nov 16

I cumed in my pants when it arrived in the mail. no more porn, just mug

taylor c.Nov 16

i love it. my friend loved it. yay. now i'm happy and not depressed anymore.

skibidi f.Nov 16

You can't get a mug from any other dictionary site

Suchart S.Nov 15

Was quality and delivered quick our friend loved it!

Stanley F.Nov 15
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Quality and style are outstanding relative to price point.

James G.Nov 15
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Quick delivery, easy ordering, unique and special gift!

Laisne H.Nov 15
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My coach loves it. I gave this to my coach and she was over the moon. Ever been hugged by an Olympic gold medalist?

beth starboardNov 15

Perfect cuup of coffee size, and the printing is spot on!

Joseph K.Nov 14
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Arrived speedily and exactly as pictured.

David T.Nov 12
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I LOVE GETTING THE FUCKING MUG

AaronNov 11
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