Gene Snitsky: Time Traveler Mug
The year is 2033. The world is blanketed in chaos, as the war between man and machine heads toward a frighteningly close nuclear finale. Grown men cower with their women and children, hiding from the soulless creatures that move silently through the night. However, there is one who walks through the huddled masses, unafraid of the robot killers, instilling hope in all he meets. The world knows him as General “Gene” Snitsky, humanity’s last chance in The War To End All Wars. This is his story. “I have a job to do.” The gruff yet monotone voice echoed throughout the warehouse basement. Unlike most basements, however, this one is made of 3,000 tons of stainless steel and titanium, contains a multitude of high-radiation areas, and has surveillance systems covering every centimeter within 4 miles of the building. Before the hard times hit, the building also had Guinness on tap. Now, only Pabst Blue Ribbon flows through the slowly corroding pipes, but this is not the time for drinking. “Sir, you’ve established that. But I don’t see how traveling back in time to 2004 helps us in anyway. The machines will use their warheads anytime now, and the window for a preemptive strike is closing more with each passing hour. With all due respect, General, we need you here.” This type of insubordinate backtalk would normally be met by Snitsky’s stiff right hand, but Jeff Hardy was never afraid of taking risks. While not always the smoothest of performers, as Second-in-Command he knew the General better than anyone; one could argue that he existed simply to inspire him. Now around 60 years old, Hardy also knew the stakes were greater than ever, and that he had to ensure things ran smoothly and without error. Yes, at times the very fate of the world rested on Jeff Hardy not blowing spots. General Snitsky paused for a moment and looked at Jeff’s face, the middle-aged man’s neon green streaks illuminating the near-darkness. Why was there a blacklight in the time machine room anyway? He turned around and put his hands on a nearby table, palms flat as he bowed his head and leaned like a runner unable to catch his breath after a sprint. A heavy sigh escaped his lips; he never thought that, at 28, he would have to explain to a middle-aged former pro wrestler why he was responsible for the downfall of the entire human race. Rubbing his chin, he gathered himself and faced his right-hand man. Yes, he did have a job to do. First the truth, then the sacrifice. “Jeff, I’m…I’m not who you think I am. You see, you’ve known me for what, 10 years? And to you, I’ve always been General, I’ve always been Snitski. But I haven’t always worn this uniform and these tags…” He gripped the metal around his neck and stood entranced by the inscribed letters. Although it was only ten seconds, when he continued his voiced seemed ten years older. “These tags haven’t always said ‘Snitsky.’ They used to say…” He paused again, this time deliberately. He turned away again, closed his eyes, and lifted his head skyward. “Jeff, my name used to be…” He swallowed, fighting to say the word. “Kane. I'm the son of the man who murdered your brother."
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
aMUG US
very good product, i drink my coffee out of it every single morning. a tiny little itty bitty problem i have with it though, is that every time i drink anything except for coffee out of this mug it barrates me for having bad taste. makes me very sad, honestly. i didnt know cups could talk, but appearently i have been proven wrong. i would really appreciate it if you could start double checking if your cups are possesed by melicous spirts who like to insult you! except for that, great product!!
The workmanship of the product was excellent, and packaging for your delivery of this fragile item, a coffee mug, was appropriately safe. Nice job all around. Thank you.
It's the best mug in the history of mugs.
love it
excellent customer service. i gave the wrong address and they got it here quick.
This was easy to order although I wish the preview pics showed the next on both sides once you finish customizing. But I appreciated that if the text doesn't fit they email you and ask what you want it to say. Came out great and I can't wait to give it as a gift
it was frickin good mug i liked it it was good I have never thought of myself as someone who drinks from mugs. After I drank from this mug, I thought of myself as a mug-drinker. It was magical. My entire life changed. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. How do you follow up a lifestyle change? I went on a long walk. About 67 miles. Once I got to the Walgreen's I realized I could've just drove. But I didn't. I'm no quitter. Not with this mug. This mug gives me power, perseverance. You want this mug. Trust me. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mu
I love How I can order a cup with one of my favorite words
Well printed, the mug's ceramic is of good quality, I'm not sure what else I can add. I am surprised it could be printed and shipped so quickly based on my earlier experience printing/kiln-firing/baking this kind of product. Well done.
Sent to a friend. He loved it!
I can't stop putting weird things on the cup I love this website 😆
Purchased this for my fiancé. One night watching TV, she blurted out the word "kaputnik." We laughed so hard. Never dreamed it was an actual word. Now, we know better. LOL
Sent a mug with DABNABIT printed on it to my Grandaughter for her birthday! She absolutely was thrilled with it! This is a saying I’ve used over the years a lot & we’ve always laughed about it! Ordered myself one too!!
Best mug I've ever seen honestly
looks great, came quickly, exactly as I wanted. minor observation - the coffee mug was a bit smaller than I expected. The mug is normal size, but most of my mugs tend to be a bit larger. No matter. I still enjoy it!! Perfect would have been larger - but that I my preference.
Bought this mug as a joke, the concept of there being a "magical one" was very funny to me. Great quality, I even feel magical myself.
Perfect!!
My nut hurts my nut hurts help
i bought this mug for my classmate and he likes it since its his crush name