Runner Guidelines Mug
1. It is important to load up on carbohydrates 2-4 hours before a big run. Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana (good cramp-crusher), oatmeal, strawberries, and/or some orange juice. But from now on, eat all of your breakfast runner-style. Liquids are digested faster. So slop it in a blender, and smoothiefy it. That way, no energy is wasted, and it's all about the run. 2. Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement. Say to yourself things like: This is gonna be your best run yet. You're going to accomplish all of your goals. You are a robot sent from the future to win the marathon. It's go time. This will be the performance of a lifetime. It is on, till the break of dawn! You are a live wire, a spark plug, a dynamo. You are unstoppable, unbeatable, untouchable. You are a relentless driving force. You are a timeless powerhouse. You will complete this run, come home, get in your big underpants, and take a nap. Facial feedback and self-spoken support are key factors in fueling those tanks and charging up those batteries. 3. Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas, including the feet, armpits, and especially the nipple region. Use petroleum jelly on the affected areas. This will relieve any irritated skin. 4. Remember the "Rest Day". Keep it holy. 5. Nose running like a waterfall or a faucet? A real gusher? Move others away from the spray zone, and snotrocket. Total jetstream. Just open the floodgates. Aim steadily, and fire.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts