The Gonzales Mug
The Gonzales is an advanced sexual maneuver named after its founder Mr P. Gonzales. It involves the "woman" figure in the relationship to be strapped down forcefully, and held captive (of course just acting, rather than reality) for a period of some days. The woman figure is forcefully fed from a nutrient tube, or nutrient dildo from which he/she must slowly suck all that they will live on for a period of unknown proportion. The mixture must incorporate the required nutrients for life of course, along with small traces of semen, slowly increasing over the period. The semen should be that of the sexual partner's in order to heighten the sense of intimacy. The maneuver is best performed strapped to a chair, and their should be some form of inflatable dildo underneath that inflates at key moments during the sexual acts, either into the vagina, or rectum if it should be a male in the chair. "The Gonzales" usually lasts roughly 4-5 days, and can be performed with either a man or woman, though P.Gonzales' preference is a male to share his (what some would call sick) fantasies with. P.Gonzales has a doctorate in alternate sexual fetishes from Oxford University, London, and is a world renowned professor on the subject. This maneuver should not be performed by the feint of heart, and P.Gonzales' in-depth guide should be consulted on his website, which includes information on many more moves, this being his signature move, hence its name "The Gonzales".
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother