Soccermom Mug
Soccermom n. Characteristics: 1. Caucasian. 2. Has no job, gets her money from successful husband. 3. Has either a minivan or an SUV. 4. Usually Christian 5. Child(ren) think they're "all that" then turn "rebel." Appearance: 1. A (ridiculously) over-sized bag 2. One-inch heels ALL the TIME. 3. Expensive sunglasses. 4. Off-red nail polish on their toenails and fingernails. 5. Optional: Botox 6. Bad makeup. Children? The soccermom's child(ren) are often brought up with no free time, doing sports, dance, karate, art, theater, music, you name it. Some children do up to three or four activities a night, then do homework until about 11 at night. In school, a soccermom's child(ren) may either be a) popular, extremely bitchy, and hang out with the other popular children or b) extremely bitchy, hang out with children they know from dance, or any other of their millions after-school activities. A soccermom's child(ren) eats little for lunch, though their lunches are always 100 percent organic. During puberty, the once perfect "little angels" begin to "rebel" by... 1. Listening to a song with the word "hell" in it. 2. Wearing the same pair of Gap jeans twice. 3. Staying up past their bedtimes. 4. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend (usually this only applies to a girl, as a soccermom's daughter usually feels the need to hide her "illicit" activities from her parents) 5. Kiss this boyfriend/girlfriend... on the cheek. 6. Hug this boyfriend/girlfriend 7. Wear a little bit of makeup (like clear lip gloss.) Also, a soccermom's children either a) grow up to be just like their parents or b) grow up to be nothing like their parents, join Peace Corps, and go live in Afghanistan. Views: -All video games rated T and over = pornographic, inappropriate, will kill the minds of their already vegetative children. -All music with "cuss words" (eg, crap, hell) should be banned in America for the sake of little children (all people under age 18. Sometimes 21.) -No alcohol whatsoever for people in college (even if they're over 21.) -No Co-Ed housing in college. ("We can all be Soroity sisters! How does that sound, Mary Ann?") -Heavy Metal, Grunge, Rock, Metal, Death Metal, Alternative= bad. Pop, Country= good, as long as the country is by Carrie Underwood, and even then, certain parts MUST be bleeped out. -All little girls should be little girls. (eg, "No, Mary Ann, you can't be a dirty old mechanic when you grow up.") -All little boys should be little boys. (eg, "No, Gary Stu, you can't be a fashion designer like Armani when you grow up.) -Complete control over everything. -Ban multiplayer games (eg, Runescape, Club Penguin) in their city/town because "I don't want MY little angels to be kidnapped" while their "little angels" often have secret accounts on multiplayer games.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!
nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!
Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.
Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!
The Urban Dictionary offers one-of-a-kind products in its Coffee Mugs if you want to purchase something interesting. A bit off-center and not the norm. This is the place to be. Customer service is responsive to your query when asking a question. All Good.
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