Watertown Mug
A town in Massachusetts. (Technically a city, with a population of ~33,000, which seems absurd to an inhabitant of the east coast, but makes somewhat more sense if you remember that this amounts to a higher population than the third largest municipality in the entire state of Wyoming.) First settled in 1630, Watertown has somehow managed to go through almost four centuries of eventful history without ever acquiring any particularly distinctive identity. One might expect that, lacking any other identity, Watertown would identify as a suburb of Boston, but this would be a mistake. Most residents of Watertown seem to be oblivious to the fact that they live about six miles away from Beacon Hill. This is not to say that Watertown has no civic spirit. Locals share a dislike for neighboring Belmont, a loyalty (not entirely deserved) to eating establishments such as Stellina's and Tresca's in Watertown Square, a willingness to pretend that such annual events as the Faire on the Square are more fun than they actually are, and a sense of general satisfaction when one of the high school sports teams wins something. (Even if, as is often the case, they don't know the name of a single player.) Furthermore, Watertown's relative lack of identity may not be an entirely bad quality, when one considers the rather unillustrious identity of its neighbors. (Cambridge = Harvard University and assorted fiefs; Somerville = Cambridge's ugly cousin; Belmont = home to a prep school and the gated-community-with-everything-except-an-actual-gate of Belmont Hill; Brookline and Newton = a subdistrict of the state of Israel, confusingly located in eastern New England.) (An exception is Waltham, which is quite nice.) Watertown's architecture is low-key chaos. It's not unusual to find an 18th century colonial farmhouse, a small Victorian mansion, a few triple deckers, some colonial revivals from the early 20th century, and some unclassifiable mish mashes from the late 20th century all sharing the same block. Beside that, you have the usual New England mix of white wood-and-brick Protestant churches and gargantuan stone Catholic churches, and the beautiful 19th century brick buildings that used to be mills and are now either office space or condos. (At least one church has also been converted into condos.) Formerly a manufacturing town, Watertown has been undergoing a process of de-industrialization and gentrification for at least two decades. The town's factories and warehouses have been dismantled (or, along the Pleasant St. corridor in the southwest part of town, simply left to rot, though the town council is making noises about revitalizing the area), and the buildings of the former arsenal have been converted into offices, restaurants, recreational facilities, and a thus-far-not-particularly-interesting arts center. Property has become more expensive. (Though less so than in most of the surrounding area, partly due to the fact that Watertown has sources of revenue other than property taxes. The town has three commercial districts: The town center, the Coolidge Square area to the east, and a mall complex to the southeast, along the Charles River, which is more or less the southern boundary of the town.) In one respect, this trend is welcome, since frankly nobody misses the sullen plebes who constituted Watertown's now-priced-out middle class. In another respect, the trend is worrisome, since Watertown seems to be slowly becoming a community consisting of rich people, poor people, and nothing in between. (Watertown's poor mostly consist of Middle Easterners and Latin Americans living in the vicinity of Coolidge Square.) (The trend toward "rich, poor, and nothing else" has, of course, also been underway in the United States in general for the last several decades.) This definition reads more negatively than I intended, so I will close by mentioning some things about which Watertown can legitimately brag: Mount Auburn Cemetery (which has a Cambridge address, but is almost entirely encompassed by Watertown); a good (recently overhauled) public library; beautiful places to walk along the Charles River (also recently overhauled); the Perkins School for the Blind (perhaps better known to the nation as "the place where Helen Keller did things").
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. Itβs quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful itβs so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug π
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts