Jenovahs Witness Mug
A rare, underground-dwelling people believed to have originated after the legendary Jenovah Convention of 1934. Of the 3,500 attendees, 890 were known as the Sons of Jenovah, eyewitnesses to the miracles performed by Jenovah himself. Consumed by jealousy, they turned on their Father and slaughtered him. In a brutal battle within the convention hall, the remaining 2,610 attendees rose up and defeated the Sons of Jenovah. Only 16 survivors emerged from the bloodshed. These survivors swore an oath of secrecy, vowing to live hidden underground and to abduct any surface-dwellers who dared speak of Jenovah again. These Jenovah’s Witnesses have an unusually long lifespan of 320 years. Over generations, they split into 8 distinct clans, each with its own surname and customs. Due to centuries spent underground in isolation, their appearance has become... unsettling. Distorted by time, darkness, and perhaps guilt, they are widely considered to be shockingly hideous—described in some accounts as “fugly beyond mortal comprehension.” Today, they remain a mysterious and feared presence, their story passed down in whispers, warnings, and the occasional missing-persons report.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother