AR-15

1. A perfectly harmless device that throws pointy metal objects super duper fast, with which if it is referred to as an assault rifle people freak the fuck out and call you a snowflake tree hugging homo, but logic says not to call it a gun because it's just big as fuck and the common person assumes a gun to be something held in one hand, it surely doesn't look like a rifle; e.g. sniper rifle actually looks like a rifle, DEFINITELY cannot call it a machine gun, NRA members will likely FREAK OUT AT YOUR LACK OF EDUCATION REGARDING PROPER IDENTIFICATION AND CLASSIFICATION OF FIREARMS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Because we all have military experience, or small cocks with which we need to compensate for. 2. A pointy metal object thrower that is NOT DEADLY OR DANGEROUS AT ALL, yet is used by nearly every mass murderer, coincidence? Of course not, they just have constant flash sales promoting this type of pointy shooty thing at Mass Murdermart. 3. A tool with which all persons, children, rapitsts, criminals, murderers, terrorists, fuzzy foreigners, republican domestic terrorists, people of faith, people of no faith, don't forget ANTIFA, protestors, people "supervising and offering medical aid" to protestors, and hell aliens upon arrival into this galaxy should be given and expected to have on their person at all mother fucking times because MURICA!!!!!!!!!!