Toms River Mug
In toms River, well, lets face it...people are pretty much bored to tears. We can get to Great Adventure in abouot a half hour, and the beach/ Seaside in about 10 minutes, but these things pretty much close down during the winter. So, we're left with Applebees, Cool Beans, and Wawa to occupy our time. There are 12 elementary school, 3 intermediate schools, and 3 high schools, but the funding we receive for our education is really that of a 3-school district. HS North is where all of the rich kids go, so they get the Ritacco/ Poland Springs Center (originally named after our not-yet-deceased school board supervisor), which attracts lots of famous celebrities...like Bill Cosby. HS East and Souths' ceilings, on the other hand, are practically falling in. The nicknames of these three high schools are Heroin High (North), Suicide Central (South), and Pregnancy Point (East). Surprisingly enough, this is a failing school system. To all of the towns 90,000 residents, I want to let you know, you are wasting your childrens' opportunities. Congratulations. Toms River is also host to a few famous things. Our tap water causes cancer, our little league team won the World Series back in God knows when, and people tend to get murdered semi-frequently. A jewel amongst American suburbs, Toms River will shine on.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts