Zombie
The Walking Dead. Scientific name Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus. A deceased human being who has partially returned to life due to undeterminable causes. The brain retains base facilities, namely gross motor function. In its near-mindless state, it grasps no remains of emotion, personality, or sensation of pain. In rare cases, some of the reanimated have reflexively preformed routine activities from their past lives. The rotting bodies of the undead operate on a fraction of the level at which our bodies normally function. Circulatory, respiratory, and digestive systems are unaffected by reanimation. Labored breathing, choking, and moaning are reflexive but no oxygen is carried through the blood. The nervous system functions primarily within the brain and brain stem. Sensory reception is minimal at best and seemingly unecessary in the pursuit of prey. The undead are incapable of fatigue and will persist at any cost. They will even crawl when their legs have been removed. Even if the head is removed from the body, it will continue to live. The only way to stop the reanimated is to destroy the brain. To prevent reanimation in the recently departed, decapitate the corpse and burn the body. The only observable action a zombie takes part in is killing living creatures, especially humans, and eating them. Many theories and speculations surround this disturbing behavior. One theory is based on the thought that reanimation is the result of a contagious infection or virus, and that the primal drive to feed will spread the disease to other host bodies. Research has shown that although the majority of zombie attacks result in fatal wounds, all corpses return to life soon after passing, regardless of cause of death. Another theory is that zombies eat the brains of the living to refuel the "un-life" giving chemical serotonin. Because digestive and circulatory systems are incapable of bringing these elements to the brain, this just cannot be true. The final speculation seems the most obvious, that the dead feed for sustenance to satiate their unnatural metabolism. But because the gut has no function in the undead, this is also false. One documented encounter claims that a zombie was unable to move due to the sheer mass of undigested flesh resting in its distended gut. The creature continued to eat even after it's gut had burst open. Studies regarding the nature of feeding have proven that zombies will try to eat when their stomachs and even jaws have been removed. One explanation offers that the walking dead are the incarnation of death itself, a mockery of life that uses the vessels of the living to carry out their dark intentions, they are the opposite of life and are driven to simply undo it.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
best mug ever spittin nothin but fax
i fucking hate your mugs and shirts
awesome product!
This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
This mug made me horny.
looks perfect!!! we loved it
I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen
I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better
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wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!
The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant
Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)
Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.
I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.
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