zayn malik

The most perfect specimen to ever exist. His face is scientifically symmetrical, his eyelashes are longer than Covergirl mascara models, his eyes sparkle brighter than Sirius, his jaw line is so sharp it's offensive, his stubble grows faster than men in their 30s, his hairline is low signifying that he will never bald, his nose is ideal, his lips are pinker than freshly blossomed petunias, his skin is soft and wears no signs of scarring nor does it have remnants of bad genetics or hormone imbalance. Unlike his entourage, he requires no makeup. He doesn't need for his hair to be bleached to make his eyes stand out, or heavy foundation to cover up acne scars, ruddiness or awful smile lines and crows feet. He has the voice of an angel. He can go from smooth ballad singer, to R&B crooner, to rock-star in minutes with the most versatile voice in music industry. A voice so angelic that he has garnered praise from celebrities and music directors alike. A voice so beautiful that fans of Niel Whoran (a backup dancer for Zayn Malik) masturbate to imagining the dancer singing it instead of Zayn (as Niel has neither a face or voice capable of getting anyone off). He makes members of his entourage look like frumpy prepubescent children with bad genetics only Hollywood styling can conceal. He's often seen travelling the globe with his backup dancer, Niel Whoran; Betsy Styles, his lesbian personal chef, Louis Tomlinson, his chauffeur; and Loki, his personal trainer.