WOOLLETT-ITIS

A mutated and incurable genetic version of narcissistic personality disorder that leads to the sufferer experiencing severe auditory and visual hallucinations. These may include believing you're not a complete fuck stick, ignoring world record equalling staff turnover, using the phrase "blacker than Ernie Dingo," massively exaggerating ones achievements, and being blind to the fact that everyone laughed when you had a heart attack. Ironically, sufferers of Woollett-itis tend to create deep emotional bonds between people around them, who flock together in fierce agreement over their common shock and dismay over the sufferers behaviour.