vampire
A vampire is any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self expression, but they can assume many seductive forms. 1) The pigmy vampire: Will swarm around you head like gnats and say things like: "Your teeth need whitening." "You went to state school?" "You sound weird." "Shakespeare, Sondheim, Sedaris did it before you and better than you." "You cannot sing good enough to be in a musical." 2) The air freshener vampire: She might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny. She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating and will urge you to spray it up with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs. She wants you to clean it up and clean it out which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless, but you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs of kittens that your grandma would be so proud of. 3) The vampire of despair: It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like: "Who do you think you’re kidding?" "You look like a fool." "No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough."
The Urban Dictionary Mug
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?
Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌
My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.
it was day my mug had just arived i went to the door and grabed the box i closed the door AND BAM thge mug flew at me knockingme to the grouynd when on the ground the mug unzipped my pant a flew up my ass 10/10 loved it would buy
I love pooping in this mug, great experince. But if you do more than 1 pound as I do, search for a bigger one
i love men and cups so this cup was perfect for me
Amazing mug, really high quality, I love it!
fantastic, personal gift to share with anyone!
The mug arrived very packed and on time. I love how well crafted the coffee mug is. I plan on ordering other merch from URBAN Dictionary soon. Thanks.
It morbed its way into my anus, a bit weird, but otherwise happy with my purchase
After watching that anal jar video, I felt inspired. That's when I found this mug.
FUCK YEAAAAAAAA! MUUUUGZ WOOOOOO
Happy with my purchase
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