vampire
A vampire is any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self expression, but they can assume many seductive forms. 1) The pigmy vampire: Will swarm around you head like gnats and say things like: "Your teeth need whitening." "You went to state school?" "You sound weird." "Shakespeare, Sondheim, Sedaris did it before you and better than you." "You cannot sing good enough to be in a musical." 2) The air freshener vampire: She might look like you mama, or your old fat-ass, fat aunt Fanny. She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating and will urge you to spray it up with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs. She wants you to clean it up and clean it out which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless, but you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs of kittens that your grandma would be so proud of. 3) The vampire of despair: It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like: "Who do you think you’re kidding?" "You look like a fool." "No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough."
The Urban Dictionary Mug
One day when I was walking down the street a man gave me this mug and said that it will be the best thing that ever happened to me, when I got home I filled the mug with the most delicious coffee and I became a penis. this is the best mug in the world thank you kind stranger for giving me this.
quimsy is my son's name. i find this mug overwhelming. there not man things in my possession that i find as overwhelming as this mug
Ah SlaTT Th1S mUg g0T M3 oN THa7 T1M3... S1PP1N L3AN OuT D1S sH1t 🧛♂️💉 *JuS7 A J0k3 vAmP 🤟🏿
This helped me figure out what the word meant when my 35 year old father said he would beat my doonies down. For context I am 12.
Great, it was a gift and he loved it
These mugs are great! Great Quality and variety of colors also!
Awesome mugs!
this mug helped me in my deepest times. my son just learnt to poo and i couldnt finnd anything to wipe! :( THIS HELPED ME WIPE. the bois reccomended this and i truly love it. amazing piece. thank you for your time.
Exactly what I was expecting and a great product.

I was very happy in the experience and having a couple modifications made. The support team was very responsive And helpful in making sure it was done and delivered.
looks exactly as I expected -- nicely packaged, also quick service~!
Caring about humanity Those are some pretty bold claims about a mug God. Given your conviction though and the importance second chances (my understanding is that blaspheme can only be committed against God and not a man...don't conflate the two), I'm thinking I'd like to buy one. It's nice to think a pretty simple mug can save a little humanity. I'm just wondering though...if you've ordered lots of mugs (and I reckon you might of) and you've only just seen this one mug...how do you know its going to be a mug that can replace the holy grail? Maybe the mug is really just a simple mug looking for somebody to use it.
Absolutely loved the mug, but it has scratches on it. Regardless, I would order it again!
once i was seven years old and my mama told me "go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely", so I bought this mug after 9 years to gain friends because i don't have any.
Loved the mug. Took it with me on my truck drive
I wasn't sure if the wording was going to be on the back, but it was, so I am very pleased. Thank you.
i was alone but when since i did buy dis brekind badd muggg my life change very much????

it was great quality, it was superb and i dropped it once, it did not break, highly reccomend
I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT REMIND ME OF ME AND THE MEANS OF MY OLD NICKNAME, TTHANK YOU FOR REMIND ME THAT I IS OLD CROOKED, AND OFF CENTERED. i NJOY YOU THANK. I GIVE EKSTRRA MUNEE, I AM OLD RUSSINA GUY
I was walking to my annual palate's class and some asked me “what colors your Bugatti” I looked this up in confusion and came across this wonderful mug🥰. Best decision I’ve made since divorcing my husband Harold. I now have a black Bugatti.
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