Urban Wimp

An internet addict that scours the Urban Dictionary looking for reasons to be offended. The Urban WImp or Urban Coward is an internet addict, usually male, who never leaves a chat room let alone their house. The Urban Coward scours the Urban Dictionary for any definitions it can cry over and make whinging complaints to the management about. This is the only way it can generate emails that are not spam or Nigerians trying to access their benefit bank account. They see danger everywhere and will not log on before donning full combats (including nana knitted vest, bobble hat, mittens and scarf with cute grenade poms poms),tin foil marine commando helmet, and camouflage incontinent pants. They scrutinise the chat room lists lookiing for hidden enemies in disguise and will accuse any room newbie of being an old enemy out to get them. Their main form of defence is attack and the 'enemy'is anyone who gets more than 2 hellos when they enter a chat room or who has the ability to have a meaningful conversation, a life outside the internet or who has the temerity to have a modicum of success in their life. (this excludes the odd (very odd) female sycophants with imaginary horses, holiday homes and husbands who agree with everything they say in case the Urban Coward turns on them, oh and the usual drug addicts alkies who will talk to anyone that isnt going to arrest or section them). The Urban Coward's attacks take the form of whining abuse from the safety of a screen name and prolonged and empty threats. The extreme Urban Coward will even pay money to track down their perceived enemy in real life so they can pretend to have gone to their targets (usually owned) houses and peeped through the letter box. This entirely imaginary event is usually awarded with the Trash Annie Lol which comes with its own STD health warning and genital disinfectant. The Urban Coward attracts like minded pond life, these are usually of even a lower inellectual ability than their 'leader' most often desperately lonely females so needy they will cling like dung beetles to a turd and never mind the stench. Occasionally, the isolated Urban Coward will hook up with other Urban Cowards, such as pretend ex SAS and would be rapist poets who vent their frustrations by the writing of unsavoury and inept limericks To be an Urban Coward is to be an inadequate loner, shit scared of real life and resentful of any that have any semblance of happiness in theirs. (That would be the rest of humanity).