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Urban Wimp

An internet addict that scours the Urban Dictionary looking for reasons to be offended. The Urban WImp or Urban Coward is an internet addict, usually male, who never leaves a chat room let alone their house. The Urban Coward scours the Urban Dictionary for any definitions it can cry over and make whinging complaints to the management about. This is the only way it can generate emails that are not spam or Nigerians trying to access their benefit bank account. They see danger everywhere and will not log on before donning full combats (including nana knitted vest, bobble hat, mittens and scarf with cute grenade poms poms),tin foil marine commando helmet, and camouflage incontinent pants. They scrutinise the chat room lists lookiing for hidden enemies in disguise and will accuse any room newbie of being an old enemy out to get them. Their main form of defence is attack and the 'enemy'is anyone who gets more than 2 hellos when they enter a chat room or who has the ability to have a meaningful conversation, a life outside the internet or who has the temerity to have a modicum of success in their life. (this excludes the odd (very odd) female sycophants with imaginary horses, holiday homes and husbands who agree with everything they say in case the Urban Coward turns on them, oh and the usual drug addicts alkies who will talk to anyone that isnt going to arrest or section them). The Urban Coward's attacks take the form of whining abuse from the safety of a screen name and prolonged and empty threats. The extreme Urban Coward will even pay money to track down their perceived enemy in real life so they can pretend to have gone to their targets (usually owned) houses and peeped through the letter box. This entirely imaginary event is usually awarded with the Trash Annie Lol which comes with its own STD health warning and genital disinfectant. The Urban Coward attracts like minded pond life, these are usually of even a lower inellectual ability than their 'leader' most often desperately lonely females so needy they will cling like dung beetles to a turd and never mind the stench. Occasionally, the isolated Urban Coward will hook up with other Urban Cowards, such as pretend ex SAS and would be rapist poets who vent their frustrations by the writing of unsavoury and inept limericks To be an Urban Coward is to be an inadequate loner, shit scared of real life and resentful of any that have any semblance of happiness in theirs. (That would be the rest of humanity).

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
636
62
10
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15

My brother is a marathon runner, but he’s British. Instead of drinking water from a bottle like a sane person, he uses this to drink his black tea during runs. Now I can die in peace knowing he’s drinking from a mug with the definition of the word “objectumsexual” for some reason.

Harry B.Jun 30

Bought this without checking the back for my 12 year old cousin's birthday who adores trains! He's a lil autistic. I thought to 'run a train' meant to work on it and keep it running, much like my cousin is always talking about how he wants to drive a train. I was distraught to hear him turn over the mug on his bday in front of his two very strict puritan parents. My auntie and uncle are threatening to put me on a list now and threatening to sue me for defamation or some shit idk i didnt go to law school cus im not a nerd lols. (unlike them who both went to university) i got a kick ass job as a bouncer for an under 18s club - youd be surprised how big 12 year olds get- but they are just stupid. im worried i might get fired if this leaks.) Thanks a bunch! (sarcasn) - im feeling p down atm, if anyone could cheer me up, my number is 0800 1111, if anyone wants to do whats on the mug LOL (serious). btw, i kept the mug for myself since i found it decently adequate and quite tasteful. /srs

roserie m.Jun 30

Thanks guys, I knew I was hot but not *that* hot

Hamza L.Jun 30

Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug

Sacrewd B.Jun 30

Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.

Death Z.Jun 29

I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.

Hugh J.Jun 29

I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you

iygugkuy j.Jun 29

my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.

Annabelle S.Jun 28

it was great 💀

💀 �.Jun 28

Gave it to my girl, she loved it.

Stephen S.Jun 28

Best mug I have ever had

Bob B.Jun 28

love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!

michael m.Jun 27

WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY

Jenny P.Jun 27

WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!

Jenny P.Jun 27

I got morb’d

Morbiu S.Jun 27

This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!

kill m.Jun 26

This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled

Doop S.Jun 26
Review by Fay D.

Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!

Fay D.Jun 25
✓ Verified Purchase

Smaller than I expected for the price.

Susan .Jun 25
✓ Verified Purchase

i use my mug for sperm donation

QuandaleJun 24

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