University of South Florida

A third tier institution in Tampax, Florida known for their ridiculously lax admissions standards. They are the third largest "university" in the state of Florida behind UF and UCF. They recently experienced their best football season ever but even that won't attract quality students, as they rank last in the state in number of Merit Scholars. They pride themselves on being the only commuter school in the country with a ranked football team. Recently, administrators at the school announced they would not be able to construct housing for students because of the strong community support for the existing pawn shops and liquor stores that surround the campus. The current money mismanagement crisis at the school has caused students to question the number of luxurious pieces of furniture in the president's office, which include a miniature model of an on-campus football stadium with a plaque reading "Someday..." attached.