Twilight
A badly written book by Stephenie Meyer about a sparkling "vampire" *coughfairycough* named Gary-SueCullen who falls in love with a human, Mary-Sue Swan. Gary-Sue is an abusive, 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a 17 year old. Mary-Sue is a complete idiot who can't think or do things for herself. Gary-Sue loves Mary-Sue ONLY because of the way she smells. (Time of the mont, amirite?) Mary-Sue only loves Gary-Sue because he's "hot", cold to the touch and his skin is as hard as stone. (Statue fetish, anyone?) Mary-Sue also falls in love with Pedo Bear the werewolf. Gary-Sue promises he'll never leave Mary-Sue and that he'll always love her. Then he dumps her and Mary-sue flings herself off a cliff because she's so emo and can't live without her sparklepire boyfriend. Later on Gary-Sue fucks Mary-Sue so hard it hurts her and gets Mary-Sue pregnant and rips the baby out of Mary-Sue's stomach with his teeth. Because Pedo Bear could not score with Mary-Sue, he imprints on the infant vampire mutant... demon... thing, making her his future wife. In 7 or so years the baby has the body of an 18 year old and Pedo Bear is happy.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Cole M. got me one for my birthday, fastest sex ever
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
The price was a little expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
Great mug got one for my highschool crush
I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.
Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!
Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂
Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.
I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again
Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.
Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire
Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.
Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!
Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex
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