Twilight
Stephenie Meyer's book series for teenage girls. The first novel was good distracting trash reading with excellent mind-candy (Edward and his vampires) but ultimately spawned three increasingly crappy follow-ups. The main character and protagonist is Bella Swan, who lives in the middle of nowhere, Oregon (modern day), and is 16-18 throughout the series. Despite being the narrator, Bella cannot be considered the heroine, or even a likable character, to due her frequent acts of falling in front of cars, throwing herself off cliffs, threatening suicide, and other dumb shit. She has the typical "not your normal teenage girl" qualities, like clumsiness, academic intelligence, bookreading, and other traits that supposedly distinguish her from her peers. For example, she jokes that she is an "albino" and even reveals her knowledge of the word "misogynistic" (so witty! so clever!) but really, is overall an empty shell in which any other teenage girl can project her personality into and "identify" with. Also bears an uncanny resemblance to the books' author, Stephenie Meyer. Twilight would be a hell of a lot more readable without her running around, shrieking, fainting, and having seizures all over the place, and generally screwing things up. She falls in love with the hot, mysterious guy at her school, and naturally, the hot guy becomes obsessed with her. His name is Edward, he's a vampire, and he craves her blood, which creates a fascinating dynamic between them, but a petty excuse to justify love on his part. (More like after 108 years, Edward woke up one day, realized he was the oldest virgin on the face of the planet and realized that he needed to tap that fast) THe author asks the readers to believe that an intelligent and insanely hot vampire like Edward has never looked at any other girl, and plain, clumsy Bella is the only girl that has ever attracted him. Readers with sense roll their eyes, but the implausibility of the hot dangerous guy falling for the quiet, unattractive girl makes young virgins and bored housewives everywhere shriek. Twilight books fly off the shelves, and SM makes an instant fortune writing bad teenage high-school fantasy fanfiction. The writing itself is also pretty terrible. While admittedly addictive, SM should be fined for her use of thesaurus-rape, and the endless descriptions of Edward's physical beauty is enough to make anyone hurl onto the book cover. It's sexy as hell, but more often than not proceeds like this: Bella: I love you. Edward: I like you too, but I might kill you and I need time to brood (instant fainting and sighs occur) Bella: But I want you. Edward: You're a moron for wanting me. Bella: I dont like CARE YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS, stay with me or i'll like kill myself, your hair is so bronze and sexy OMG OMG Then after reading the book you're amazed to find out that the whole series serves to present the overarching theme of Mormon chastity. Thus Edward and Bella doesn't get down and dirty until the fourth book, to everyone's disappointment (sexual tension is always better than doing the nasty, in which we dont even WANT to know how rock-hard Edward and delicate Bella get it on). The ending is of course, happy and shit. SM tries to get all Anne Rice/LOTR by writing about the Vulturi, a secret vampire order and shit, but it becomes very lame and in the end you don't care who they are. Oh, and Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire, half-human fetus, and upon birth Edward has to tear it out of her stomach with his teeth. True story.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.
Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe
I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye
Caring about humanity Those are some pretty bold claims about a mug God. Given your conviction though and the importance second chances (my understanding is that blaspheme can only be committed against God and not a man...don't conflate the two), I'm thinking I'd like to buy one. It's nice to think a pretty simple mug can save a little humanity. I'm just wondering though...if you've ordered lots of mugs (and I reckon you might of) and you've only just seen this one mug...how do you know its going to be a mug that can replace the holy grail? Maybe the mug is really just a simple mug looking for somebody to use it.
the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"
A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
It understands me. this mug has treated me better than any girl i've ever dated, and every bro i've chilled in the same bed with. we've been though thick and thin, but mostly thicc. i used to be depressed, but now this mug holds my existential fears so i dont need to carry them with me. i even wrote a song about my mug: mary had a little mug, e-i-e-i-o how i wonder what you are, floppy dongs near and far, cherri had a real thicc mug, e-i-e-i-despaci-to
Sickm8 it was blooming gr8 for me GF. She bloody loved it. Onya!!!! ;)
it was frickin good mug i liked it it was good I have never thought of myself as someone who drinks from mugs. After I drank from this mug, I thought of myself as a mug-drinker. It was magical. My entire life changed. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. How do you follow up a lifestyle change? I went on a long walk. About 67 miles. Once I got to the Walgreen's I realized I could've just drove. But I didn't. I'm no quitter. Not with this mug. This mug gives me power, perseverance. You want this mug. Trust me. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mug. You want this mu
I can't stop putting weird things on the cup I love this website 😆
My nut hurts my nut hurts help
Why?! I can't stop doing lewd things to this mug, it keeps on telling me to stop but I respond with hitting it. PLEASE HELP ME! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
cure my depression really good i love it. also my dog cant stop doing things to it.
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