Twilight
Stephenie Meyer's book series for teenage girls. The first novel was good distracting trash reading with excellent mind-candy (Edward and his vampires) but ultimately spawned three increasingly crappy follow-ups. The main character and protagonist is Bella Swan, who lives in the middle of nowhere, Oregon (modern day), and is 16-18 throughout the series. Despite being the narrator, Bella cannot be considered the heroine, or even a likable character, to due her frequent acts of falling in front of cars, throwing herself off cliffs, threatening suicide, and other dumb shit. She has the typical "not your normal teenage girl" qualities, like clumsiness, academic intelligence, bookreading, and other traits that supposedly distinguish her from her peers. For example, she jokes that she is an "albino" and even reveals her knowledge of the word "misogynistic" (so witty! so clever!) but really, is overall an empty shell in which any other teenage girl can project her personality into and "identify" with. Also bears an uncanny resemblance to the books' author, Stephenie Meyer. Twilight would be a hell of a lot more readable without her running around, shrieking, fainting, and having seizures all over the place, and generally screwing things up. She falls in love with the hot, mysterious guy at her school, and naturally, the hot guy becomes obsessed with her. His name is Edward, he's a vampire, and he craves her blood, which creates a fascinating dynamic between them, but a petty excuse to justify love on his part. (More like after 108 years, Edward woke up one day, realized he was the oldest virgin on the face of the planet and realized that he needed to tap that fast) THe author asks the readers to believe that an intelligent and insanely hot vampire like Edward has never looked at any other girl, and plain, clumsy Bella is the only girl that has ever attracted him. Readers with sense roll their eyes, but the implausibility of the hot dangerous guy falling for the quiet, unattractive girl makes young virgins and bored housewives everywhere shriek. Twilight books fly off the shelves, and SM makes an instant fortune writing bad teenage high-school fantasy fanfiction. The writing itself is also pretty terrible. While admittedly addictive, SM should be fined for her use of thesaurus-rape, and the endless descriptions of Edward's physical beauty is enough to make anyone hurl onto the book cover. It's sexy as hell, but more often than not proceeds like this: Bella: I love you. Edward: I like you too, but I might kill you and I need time to brood (instant fainting and sighs occur) Bella: But I want you. Edward: You're a moron for wanting me. Bella: I dont like CARE YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS, stay with me or i'll like kill myself, your hair is so bronze and sexy OMG OMG Then after reading the book you're amazed to find out that the whole series serves to present the overarching theme of Mormon chastity. Thus Edward and Bella doesn't get down and dirty until the fourth book, to everyone's disappointment (sexual tension is always better than doing the nasty, in which we dont even WANT to know how rock-hard Edward and delicate Bella get it on). The ending is of course, happy and shit. SM tries to get all Anne Rice/LOTR by writing about the Vulturi, a secret vampire order and shit, but it becomes very lame and in the end you don't care who they are. Oh, and Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire, half-human fetus, and upon birth Edward has to tear it out of her stomach with his teeth. True story.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
The day this mug entered my life, my depression was cured, I won the lottery, my dad came back from the dead, and my mum started loving me, motto beg but if you rub the mug 3 times a genie WIll grant you 69 wishes (I wished for more mugs 69 times)
Gift for my niece. She loves it.
I don’t really want to by it but I do like that you can customize it Also I do find find funny nearly all the one star reviews are people say “I want the mug for free”
i tried to break this shit mug but died got reincarnated came back to life and this shitty mug was still there
How many ounces does it hold? I don’t know ask him. HIM!HIM! Fuck him! It’s catchy
Great experience with the Urban Dictionary and ordering my mug. Any concerns that were related to them were received promptly. Overall, it was a great experience
i love this mug its not a mistake ITS A MASTERPIECE
Describes my classmate in school, perfect
I love the cup and I’m certain I’ll be checking with you guys in the future..
*To those looking to purchase, others may criticize your sense of humor.* I love the thug shaker mug! It stands out as a quality desk ornament that all of my co workers are envious of. However, the other world leaders seem to find the thug shaker unfunny and immature for the work place. My wife says she will leave me if she sees it out one more time. I think I may have to give up the thug shaker persona once and for all. Stay strong thugs.
fuck you and your mugs give me a shirt or ill shit on you
Love love love it! Customer service gave me a coupon, let me know that I had to revise the definition when too long, and overall super helpful.
Nice Mug my second Mug. A little staining or photo graphic stain on the side of the cup and shown in the picture. As a result I cannot give a 5 Star Review.
The snarky message on the mug always gets big laughs from guests so I'm now using it as my go-to bourbon glass
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
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