Townie
The townie (tracksuits retardus) are hideous creatures which roam the lands of England. They tend to be known as chavs, neds or basically just fucking assholes. The male of the species tend to be called 'Gav', 'Gaz', 'Baz', 'Nat' or 'Matty'. He tends to have a shaved head, to make him look 'rock 'ard, innit', or in modern English, tough. Although townies are racist towards asians, they accept black people into their 'crew', and the black townies tend to bleach their hair yellow (blonde). Their hides tend to consist of (fake) Burberry caps, hoodies over the top, with the hood constantly up, matching tracksuit bottoms with the lines down the side, and white trainers. They also tend to wear plastic rings from the 20 pence (British money) plastic jewelry vending machines. They buy all their 'bling' or 'heavy shit' with money stolen from their parents or 5-year-olds which they beat up, money found on the floor, or from drug dealing and their girlfriends' prostitution, which brings me onto the female of the species. Female townies tend to be named after dolls, or celebrities such as 'Britney' or 'Jordan' (Americans, Jordan is a page 3 model famous for her massive big tits). There are two types of female townie. There is the Stripy Pink Townie and the Half Naked Townie. The stripy pink townie wears a white tracksuit top with 'Babe' on the front in bright pink text with pink stripes down the sleeves, and cheapest of the cheap matching white jogging bottoms with pink stripes down them, all of this of course, with the cheap white trainers. The half naked townie wears very little. She wears a 2-inch long skirt, knee-high boots and tight bra-tops. They are sluts, and are usually prostitutes. The two types of female have alot of things in common, however. They both wear hoop-earings with a diameter of 2 meters, they both wear cheap makeup and perfume which smells of fresh assjuice, they are all blonde with huge dark roots, even the natural blonde townies have 9-inch roots. All townies travel in groups of 50 to about 80. They beat up anything which moves, however they don't fight alone, for instance it will take them all to beat up a couple of 7-year-olds and steal their money. There are usually under-10s in the group of townies, usually the sons and daughters of the 11-year-old townies. The offspring will usually see you coming, run back to the group of townies and tell them that you were picking on them, quite basically, they are all little shits. As the big townies start shouting abuse at you, the little townies will usually finish their fathers' sentences with "yeah!", "go on, Gav, beat the shit out of the fucker" or "yer fuckin' dead ya knob 'ed". All townies smoke. It's not an option. The strange creatures seem to live on nicotine rather than oxygen, scientists still want to investigate this, but they can't get too close to capture a townie without getting spat at or beat up. If you hear "WHAT YOU WALKIN' AWAY FOR?", "WHAT YOU FUCKIN' LOOKIN' AT?" or "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' IGNORE ME!", it is a good chance that within 30 seconds, you will be chased by a bunch of 50 or so male townies on bikes which they got for Christmas when they were 5 years old, spitting and swearing. Townies never actually beat anyone up, but they spit and throw things so be warned.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
i loved the mug, gave it to my grandmother on her birthday
The mug is great! I bought it as a gag gift for a friend, and I didn't really think it was going to be a good mug, but when I got it I was super surprised! It is really high quality feeling ceramic and the print is very clear and good looking. It was also packaged really well, and the shipping process was nice too! It did take longer than I thought to get here, but it's understandable as I did order it custom. In all it is an amazing mug and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for myself.
This mug is great! It comes in perfect condition and I love that you can change the definitions! I put my name and then I put the definition as ‘the best person’. Made my day every time I picked it up.
My name is Asher, I looked my name up a few days ago and we all had a good laugh. Now, this mug is my go to morning mug for drinking my herbal tea and plotting to take over the realms.
I just love it. Just like I ordered!
Exactly as promised.
To beginulate, the muglification of the vessel is both pleasing to the eye as well as the hand. Secondly, the option of choosing one's own colors adds to the lessening if the so called " buyer's remorse" which so often accompanies modern "on line" purchases.
My husband absolutely loves this! This was a difficult product to find but it turned out perfectly! He was cracking up. Definitely worth the buy.
I bought this mug for my daughter for Valentine’s Day. She saw the different descriptions of her name on your site, and read every one of them!! She then found a mug with everything written about her name on it. So, I am surprising her with it. The mug looks great. Quick delivery!
I live in a Hillbilly Condo & love my flamingo pink mug.
Annie from the customer service team helped me out tremendously with some adjustments that I wanted done after my order was placed. I really appreciate her willingness to go above and beyond for my request. The product was received exactly how I wanted it! One happy customer over here. Thanks!
I love the item I ordered but found the website a little difficult to navigate.
Now this has been my favourite mug by far. I put the word of scrunkly on it just as i had envisioned. Now to know why i picked a scrunkly mug, we need to go back all the way to the year of 2016. It was a day like no other, the birds were tweeting. We were all laughing while playing in the playground. Then came that fateful moment. A cackle was heard screeching throughout the lands. I turned my head in complete and utter fear. Two seagulls stood there. One was cackling while a red liquid dropped from its mouth. The head of the seagull next to it was missing. The seagull had consumed its friend's head! A betrayal, no... a parley even! To this day I still hear the words which left that evil beast's beak. It said, "Awww, the scrunkly". It then flew off into the sunset, leaving nothing but chaos and carnage behind. Anyways 10/10 for the mug. Would buy again.
Came in like ordered, solid mug
The mug arrived as shown and expected. But, it is an average mug and the cost is quite high. It's funny and good as a one time gift. If we needed several, the cost would be prohibited. Again, funny product and as expected.
Love it. I can't wait to give it as a gift yo
This is lafayetti yummi yum yum Oui oui mon ami je m'appelle lafayette The lancelot of the revolutionary set I came from afar just to say "Bonsoir" Tell the king "Casse toi" Who's the best C'est moi
Awesome purchase, I can't wait to show off my "Progressively Straight" mug at Starbucks.
Mug was delivered undamaged just as ordered.
My order came quickly. Packaged well. Great job.
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