Tom Cruise

Real name Tom Cruz. An egotistical cocky self-absorbed shitbrat who plays himself in every single movie he's been in. His career really started taking off when he made that now iconic scene of scooting on the floor, flopping on a couch and lip-synching to an old Bob Seger song. After all this time, it's not funny anymore. He hit the big time with 'Top Gun', a 'classic' for armchair generals who would cheer future wars on TV and who get boners from flipping people off. But there's more. Several marriages, and he's a zealous advocate for the proto-New Age dumbshit cult of Scientology. He believes that humanity is from Venus and migrated to Earth and it's time to contact the 'Thetans' by placing thr hands on a couple of tin cans. He thinks diet and exercise cures post-birth depression in new mothers and says that meds are psychiatry are bunk. Not only that, when he dated and plugged the young starfucker Katie Holmes, he made a total ass of himself by jumping and stepping on a couch during an OPRAH episode like a little kid. He and Katie wed) (shotgun) and daughter Suri arrived. Now divorced, Katie keeps on chasing movie stars and Tom has shit all over his face, and he's older too. And everyone by now knows about his arrogance.