The Turkey Dinner
Step one: Stuff the Turkey- stuffing and a wooden spoon are required for this step. As all great turkeys are stuffed first, you must make your woman a great turkey. You have to start with loading her asshole with stuffing, the wooden spoon is needed to really get it in there( avoid her cryis for hel, it means she likes it.) Step 2: Set oven to 350- in this step you are required to fart, but this is no average fart this is a very heated fart. This is a very delicate process because if you don't quite heat the fart up enough, your lady friend might not come at the right time.(taco bell is helpful to heat the fart up) Step 3: Add the Gravy- If Taco Bell was consumed to help for the last step, this step will be a piece of cake. You will need to take a shit that is very runny and very fluidy on your lady friends chest. Rub it around. It cannot be a solid shit. This will destroy the process and you'll have to restart. Step 4: Time to fry the turkey- this process is very painful for the both of you, but it has to be done. You must stick boiling frier oil in the females vagina and fuck her while its still in there. Disclaimer: if there are any 3rd degree burns, vicious wounds and of fatalities it is not my fault. This was created by Bill Gates in an Applebee's Kitchen on thanksgiving night
The Urban Dictionary Mug
My brother is a marathon runner, but he’s British. Instead of drinking water from a bottle like a sane person, he uses this to drink his black tea during runs. Now I can die in peace knowing he’s drinking from a mug with the definition of the word “objectumsexual” for some reason.
Bought this without checking the back for my 12 year old cousin's birthday who adores trains! He's a lil autistic. I thought to 'run a train' meant to work on it and keep it running, much like my cousin is always talking about how he wants to drive a train. I was distraught to hear him turn over the mug on his bday in front of his two very strict puritan parents. My auntie and uncle are threatening to put me on a list now and threatening to sue me for defamation or some shit idk i didnt go to law school cus im not a nerd lols. (unlike them who both went to university) i got a kick ass job as a bouncer for an under 18s club - youd be surprised how big 12 year olds get- but they are just stupid. im worried i might get fired if this leaks.) Thanks a bunch! (sarcasn) - im feeling p down atm, if anyone could cheer me up, my number is 0800 1111, if anyone wants to do whats on the mug LOL (serious). btw, i kept the mug for myself since i found it decently adequate and quite tasteful. /srs
Thanks guys, I knew I was hot but not *that* hot
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
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