Sweetpea

The greatest goalscorer of all time, Sweet Pea is commonly referred to as "The Messi of kids with Down syndrome." Sweetpea is an extraordinary player and the way he misses open goals making it look like he messed up but did it on purpose is amazing. There is truly no other specimen like him. Sweetpea is popular amongst his older friends and is commonly "laughed with, not laughed at." Sweetpea's incredible sense of humor makes him a very likeable person among his peers. Sweetpea however lives a dark and secret underground life. He jacks off to videos of prepubescent children, specifically 8th graders named Mia. It is also common knowledge that Sweetpea is not a virgin and has had sex with not only multiple women, but has had dick so far up his ass that he needs it reattached. Sweetpea is also the most handsome looking man in the world. Woman constantly have their eyes on his freckles and would die just to stare into that overexposed forehead of his. Rumor has it, because of the amount of bleach that he dipped his dick in, it spread out into his body and made a permanent mark on his skin. However, it cannot be denied that sweetpea is and always will be the greatest human to walk on the face of the earth.