Surface Warfare
Surface Warfare: A big pain in the ass fraction of the United States Navy. One of the grossest miscalculations of adequately spent tax dollars in history. Commonly employs "Hansel and Gretel" techniques to recruit young, vulnerable, and generally ignorant young men into a workforce of pissed off sailors. Recruits young women to satisfy the overly horny young men while underway. (Note: while some young men like to satisfy each other, it is "not gay underway") Here, you can look forward to getting a new boss every two years who has never been on a ship, does not know anything about what you do, and proceeds to tell you how you could do your job better. You eat food that is rejected by the penal system. You sleep in a bed bigger than most toddler cribs, in a noisy room full of 40 other people (most notably the flatulent Filipino above you who masturbates every night by reciting poems in Tagalic.) You live your life on the edge, only ever knowing when you will leave work when the work list is checked over at lunchtime. Your boss has no problem setting you to port and starboard watches, and leaving at noon. You are used to coming back into port on Monday, because coming in Friday night would cost an extra $2,000 vice the $10,000 it costs to stay underway until Monday. If ever you get too comfortable where you are, you will be relocated, free of cost, to a shit hole in the middle of a desert. This is known as IA, or "Improper Allocation." Those who try to get out are promoted, and those who want to stay in get forced out. Officers come in several varieties. First, there is an LDO. This officer has felt the pain of the bluejackets, and strives to protect them as he turns his wrath toward the rest of the wardroom. Second is an OCS Grad. This officer has a lackadaisical approach to leading people and really treats the Navy as more of a hobby. Third is the Academy Grad. These officers put themselves above everyone else, and consider any mundane task beneath them. They have no problem relaying their perceived inferiority of all other officers. (See United States Naval Academy) Finally, there is the NROTC Grad. This officer remains bitter that they had a taste of life, and still chose to imprison themselves in mediocrity. As an officer, you begin your career by stabbing other officers in the back, stepping on your division to get medals, and lying about war incidents to earn purple hearts (see examples). As you are promoted, your goal becomes to demean your subordinates, and see how much humiliation they can take before they turn against each other. Your other hobbies include putting two scorpions in a shoebox and shaking it to see if they sting each other.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Speedy shipping and as always love the mug especially since I created the word!
My brother is a marathon runner, but he’s British. Instead of drinking water from a bottle like a sane person, he uses this to drink his black tea during runs. Now I can die in peace knowing he’s drinking from a mug with the definition of the word “objectumsexual” for some reason.
Bought this without checking the back for my 12 year old cousin's birthday who adores trains! He's a lil autistic. I thought to 'run a train' meant to work on it and keep it running, much like my cousin is always talking about how he wants to drive a train. I was distraught to hear him turn over the mug on his bday in front of his two very strict puritan parents. My auntie and uncle are threatening to put me on a list now and threatening to sue me for defamation or some shit idk i didnt go to law school cus im not a nerd lols. (unlike them who both went to university) i got a kick ass job as a bouncer for an under 18s club - youd be surprised how big 12 year olds get- but they are just stupid. im worried i might get fired if this leaks.) Thanks a bunch! (sarcasn) - im feeling p down atm, if anyone could cheer me up, my number is 0800 1111, if anyone wants to do whats on the mug LOL (serious). btw, i kept the mug for myself since i found it decently adequate and quite tasteful. /srs
Thanks guys, I knew I was hot but not *that* hot
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
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