Sphincter Scale
The Sphincter Scale is simply a scale which measures the forces and effects caused when one passes wind (FARTS). The scale is divided into 10 categories... with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest. 1: Slight perp... sometimes silent. Usually detected within 30 seconds by a well trained nose. Best released by lifting one half of the arse and slowly allowing gas discharge. Usually has the smell of a warm biscuit. 2: Gas Shot... Can be heard if not carefully released, detection time is same as above. Very little Vibration if arse is firmly planted on chair / bench / sofa. Usually let off in queues, usually in Banks or where people are buying a Lottery ticket. 3: Flustered Fart... Can be heard in quieter surroundings, usually let off when walking. Never detected by its owner, but by the next poor soul who stops nearby the release site. Best dropped when walking away from a cash machine. 4: Parppp... Definitely detectable by anyone in close proximity. Higher volume output than that of the afforementioned scale factors... Can be used to show off to mates, or to be kicked out of bed by the missus. Slight vibration occurs if directly aimed onto a spring based matress. 5: Trump... Most commonly heard in working mens clubs, and changing rooms. Men find a sense in pride in dropping these, although women (other than wives married over 5 years) find this type of fart impossible to acheive in the presence of any person. Vibration can be felt on laminated flooring upto 2 metres from the epicentre. 6: Barp!... Highly flammable and detectable by all within a 5 metre radius. Requires round neck jumper to be substituted for gas mask for at least 120 seconds after the release. High level of Turdulence which can be easily felt if sharing a pub bench with the offending Barp!'er. 7: Serial Barp!... Not advised unless alone, or with person you dislike. A series of loud farts are released with no shame involved. Can lead to a spurt of bum gravy from the offenders rectum if not carefully released. Tremors from a serial barp can be felt many metres away. If dropped whilst bathing, can create high numbers of methanic bubbles and extremely obvious vibrations detectable by anyone situated in the room directly below the bathroom. 8: Bottoms Up... A fart of unprecented excellence, high in stink factor and low in shame factor. Only achievable by overweight men and lesbians. Requires offender to take a shite minutes afterwards, as the forces required to create a bottoms up fart can push faeces towards the anal opening and out into the offenders underpants. Skid marks inevitable. 9: Anal Lacerator... Highly potent, the force involved in releasing a fart of this magnitude are immense. Offenders are advised to use caution, examples could be by pulling down their clothing to avoid causing permanent material damage to their garments or wearing someone elses underwear. Painfully released and extremely high decibel count (over 80dB) and best dropped during football matches or when in a jacuzzi, although lifting of the arse is advised to avoid excessive vibration to the tile work. 10: The Ultimate in Fart Technology... This fart is only available to those who eat Mexican & Indian Cuisine. The gaseous effects of which can contaminate a room for upto 30minutes from the time of release. Causes eyes to water and throats to dry up. Offenders require dark underwear to cover up excessive stains. Vibrations of a fart of this power can cause tables and chairs to shake momentarily. Not advised during family barbecues and wedding ceremonies. Offending persons usually have homosexual tendencies or large thick stools which tend to be unflushable.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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Jana loves her mug. Drinks from it everyday and counites to inspire her. Thank you so much for this gift
Best mug ever!
this is actually a good mug
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It's excellent for memers from NSBHS who would like to have a good laugh every morning.
It was a gift for my brother. He absolutely loves it
Very easy to order and mug was made and delivered promptly. Looks great.
Coffee cup was easy to order. It was made and delivered promptly. It looks terrific.
Absolutely brilliant, I just love the hgfhgf mug, I would reccommend this to anyone, 10/10.
wow it's amazing, the best mug i've ever had !!!! My wife left me but it's okay because i have my shark mug ! I just want to say thak's, thank's to the world, thank's to god and thank's for you. you made my day
The mug arrived on time and it was what I expected!
Title: A Masterpiece of Craftsmanship: My Edging Mug Review As a dedicated coffee enthusiast, I've had the pleasure of indulging in countless brews from various vessels, but none have captivated me quite like my edging mug. Crafted with precision and attention to detail, this mug has become an indispensable part of my morning routine. Allow me to share my experience and why this mug stands out among the rest. First and foremost, the design of the edging mug is simply stunning. Its sleek, minimalist aesthetic adds a touch of elegance to any kitchen counter. The smooth, curved edges not only provide a comfortable grip but also enhance the overall visual appeal. It's the kind of mug that prompts compliments from guests and sparks conversation. Beyond its aesthetics, the functionality of the edging mug is truly impressive. The handle, while minimalist in design, is ergonomically shaped, allowing for a secure and comfortable hold. Whether I'm savoring a piping hot espresso or leisurely sipping on a frothy latte, I never have to worry about my grip slipping or the mug feeling cumbersome. One of the standout features of the edging mug is its thermal properties. Constructed from high-quality ceramic, it effectively retains heat, keeping my beverages at the perfect temperature for extended periods. Gone are the days of rushing through my morning cup of coffee for fear of it growing cold. With the edging mug, I can savor each sip at my own pace, knowing that it will stay delightfully warm until the very last drop. Moreover, the craftsmanship of the edging mug is evident in every detail. From its flawless glaze to its sturdy construction, it's clear that this mug was made with care and precision. It's microwave and dishwasher safe, making it incredibly convenient for everyday use. Despite frequent washes and regular use, it has maintained its pristine appearance without any signs of wear or fading. In conclusion, my experience with the edging mug has been nothing short of exceptional. Not only does it elevate my daily coffee ritual with its exquisite design and impeccable craftsmanship, but it also delivers on functionality and durability. If you're in search of the perfect mug to enhance your coffee experience, look no further than the edging mug. It's a true masterpiece that deserves a place in every coffee lover's collection. Truly a masterpiece from the hands of god himself.
BEST MUG EVER I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT THIS OUTSTANDINGLY AMAZING MUG THAT MY FRIEND GOT ME AS A "SPECIAL" CHRISTMAS PRESENT IF YOU KNOW HWAT I MEAN
Great idea. Nice mug and well proportioned
Im gay so love this mug
shmunky Mug is elite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Highly recommend yeat !!!!
Great product. Timely shipping. Highly recommend this establishment. Thanks!
Best Mug ever. I love having the definition for my favorite word on a stylish mug. -ShinobiScout
It was hilarious and I loved it
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