Sphincter Scale
The Sphincter Scale is simply a scale which measures the forces and effects caused when one passes wind (FARTS). The scale is divided into 10 categories... with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest. 1: Slight perp... sometimes silent. Usually detected within 30 seconds by a well trained nose. Best released by lifting one half of the arse and slowly allowing gas discharge. Usually has the smell of a warm biscuit. 2: Gas Shot... Can be heard if not carefully released, detection time is same as above. Very little Vibration if arse is firmly planted on chair / bench / sofa. Usually let off in queues, usually in Banks or where people are buying a Lottery ticket. 3: Flustered Fart... Can be heard in quieter surroundings, usually let off when walking. Never detected by its owner, but by the next poor soul who stops nearby the release site. Best dropped when walking away from a cash machine. 4: Parppp... Definitely detectable by anyone in close proximity. Higher volume output than that of the afforementioned scale factors... Can be used to show off to mates, or to be kicked out of bed by the missus. Slight vibration occurs if directly aimed onto a spring based matress. 5: Trump... Most commonly heard in working mens clubs, and changing rooms. Men find a sense in pride in dropping these, although women (other than wives married over 5 years) find this type of fart impossible to acheive in the presence of any person. Vibration can be felt on laminated flooring upto 2 metres from the epicentre. 6: Barp!... Highly flammable and detectable by all within a 5 metre radius. Requires round neck jumper to be substituted for gas mask for at least 120 seconds after the release. High level of Turdulence which can be easily felt if sharing a pub bench with the offending Barp!'er. 7: Serial Barp!... Not advised unless alone, or with person you dislike. A series of loud farts are released with no shame involved. Can lead to a spurt of bum gravy from the offenders rectum if not carefully released. Tremors from a serial barp can be felt many metres away. If dropped whilst bathing, can create high numbers of methanic bubbles and extremely obvious vibrations detectable by anyone situated in the room directly below the bathroom. 8: Bottoms Up... A fart of unprecented excellence, high in stink factor and low in shame factor. Only achievable by overweight men and lesbians. Requires offender to take a shite minutes afterwards, as the forces required to create a bottoms up fart can push faeces towards the anal opening and out into the offenders underpants. Skid marks inevitable. 9: Anal Lacerator... Highly potent, the force involved in releasing a fart of this magnitude are immense. Offenders are advised to use caution, examples could be by pulling down their clothing to avoid causing permanent material damage to their garments or wearing someone elses underwear. Painfully released and extremely high decibel count (over 80dB) and best dropped during football matches or when in a jacuzzi, although lifting of the arse is advised to avoid excessive vibration to the tile work. 10: The Ultimate in Fart Technology... This fart is only available to those who eat Mexican & Indian Cuisine. The gaseous effects of which can contaminate a room for upto 30minutes from the time of release. Causes eyes to water and throats to dry up. Offenders require dark underwear to cover up excessive stains. Vibrations of a fart of this power can cause tables and chairs to shake momentarily. Not advised during family barbecues and wedding ceremonies. Offending persons usually have homosexual tendencies or large thick stools which tend to be unflushable.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
These mugs are great! Great Quality and variety of colors also!
Awesome mugs!
this mug helped me in my deepest times. my son just learnt to poo and i couldnt finnd anything to wipe! :( THIS HELPED ME WIPE. the bois reccomended this and i truly love it. amazing piece. thank you for your time.
Exactly what I was expecting and a great product.
I was very happy in the experience and having a couple modifications made. The support team was very responsive And helpful in making sure it was done and delivered.
looks exactly as I expected -- nicely packaged, also quick service~!
Caring about humanity Those are some pretty bold claims about a mug God. Given your conviction though and the importance second chances (my understanding is that blaspheme can only be committed against God and not a man...don't conflate the two), I'm thinking I'd like to buy one. It's nice to think a pretty simple mug can save a little humanity. I'm just wondering though...if you've ordered lots of mugs (and I reckon you might of) and you've only just seen this one mug...how do you know its going to be a mug that can replace the holy grail? Maybe the mug is really just a simple mug looking for somebody to use it.
Absolutely loved the mug, but it has scratches on it. Regardless, I would order it again!
once i was seven years old and my mama told me "go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely", so I bought this mug after 9 years to gain friends because i don't have any.
Loved the mug. Took it with me on my truck drive
I wasn't sure if the wording was going to be on the back, but it was, so I am very pleased. Thank you.
i was alone but when since i did buy dis brekind badd muggg my life change very much????
it was great quality, it was superb and i dropped it once, it did not break, highly reccomend
I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT REMIND ME OF ME AND THE MEANS OF MY OLD NICKNAME, TTHANK YOU FOR REMIND ME THAT I IS OLD CROOKED, AND OFF CENTERED. i NJOY YOU THANK. I GIVE EKSTRRA MUNEE, I AM OLD RUSSINA GUY
I was walking to my annual palate's class and some asked me “what colors your Bugatti” I looked this up in confusion and came across this wonderful mug🥰. Best decision I’ve made since divorcing my husband Harold. I now have a black Bugatti.
its been a hard year for a lot of us with covid and divorces and honestly its just been a lot for me. I recently went through a breakup with Greyson and i was looking for a gift to get myelf to cheer me up. Thats when i stumbled on this beauty. Its sleek and modern design is just fabulous. It just what I needed to get through the year. Thank you James!!!
After my divorce i hardly found anything to get me through the day. I was looking to buy some used socks on the internet for the thrill but i bumped into a website made my young adults. I had such a hard time understanding their slang that I almost busted into tears. In the hopes of not being scammed, I decided to Google every single word that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. After surfing through urban dictionary, it didn’t take long enough for me to fall in love with the entire concept and spend more than 90% of my day-to-day life on the website. From dirty words to actual explanations urban dictionary, made me complete and almost made me forget about my divorce. Fuck you, Susan, urban dictionary took your place. Suck on my educated toes. I bet you don’t know what a reckwhore means. LG Benjamin 10/10
LOVE THE MUG MY ONLY COMPLAINT IS THERE IS A TYPO ON IT . IT SAYS ...An insult hurled at a fat "dunk" woman by a redneck drunk man on an episode of Jail. SHOULDNT IT SAY.........An insult hurled at a fat "drunk" woman by a redneck drunk man on an episode of Jail. ??
I use it every morning. It's my favorite.
Bought this for my boss and now I'm part of the unemployment statistic, cool mug tho!
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