spachitis

A virtually incurable disorder that affects all non-asexual individuals, causing them to feel profound social rejection and desperation in the absence of sexual activity; also known as sexual frustration. Symptoms include excessive discussion about sex, bragging about one's sexual skills and genitals size, speech impediment in communication with individuals of the preferred gender, wet dreams, premature ejaculation during coitus, and more uncommonly ejaculation from organs other one's genitals (e.g., ears, nose, mouth, etc.). While successful episodes of coitus are the only known therapy used to control symptoms, withdrawal from therapy or its misadministration are known to exacerbate symptoms. Etymology: spachi (from Alb. spaqia, lack of coitus) + itis (Grk. inflamation or disease of).