Slipknot

Originating in a mystical land known as "Iowa", Slipknot is an angsty mallcore band who are a favorite of teenage girls, pseudo-goths, and other Hot Topic drama whores. Consisting of at least 100 members (many of which were unsuspecting victims randomly abducted off the street), Slipknot is fronted by singer Corey "Midget" Taylor, drummer Joey "Fag" Jordison, and token fatass Shawn "Clown" Crahan. Their lyrics are the typical angst-ridden gay shit such as bleeding to death, Satanism, imaginary girlfriends, and gouging your eyes out. All of the band members wear boilersuits and distinct masks to hide the semen and Santorum stains on their faces. When not bitching, whining, and cursing in interviews about how "fucking brutal" they are, the band members can be found engaging in homosexual acts and beating each other to death with frozen cow heads and dead babies. Fans of Slipknot are called "maggots" because most of them are extremely fat, slimy, and pale-skinned from never going outside. Strangely enough, most (if not all) Slipknot fans are also complete faggots.