Simp
Ah yes! The simp. That slippery, slimy serpent tempting girls into sleeping with him. The desperate, pathetic being that prays on the pity women bestow upon him. Perpetually celibate, the simp will do anything in an attempt to get into a girl’s pants. He showers them with gifts, praise, and attention; he leaves his infinitesimally small dignity and ego in front of any girl that be believes he has a chance with and abases himself before their will. The simp saunters in his own mind; his own fantasy where he can pretend, he is worthy of attention without needed to bribe girls to like him; in a world where being himself is enough; such an idea is foreign to the simp. He hangs around the normal places we all do; in the library, at the coffee shop, at football games. Yet, we don’t typically see him. He slinks behind shelves, walls, and bleachers. He goes to the lake yet doesn’t put his foot in for if he did, he would drown in his own failure and ignominy. His only tactic? Pity. By manipulating a girl, the simp, after years of hard work, has a slim chance to have “pity sex.” The simp lives for this moment. His will to live is fueled by his scummy ways. Contrary to real men, the simp uses pity to manipulate girls; us men use real emotional tactics like shame, guilt, fear of embarrassment, and social isolation in order to get girls to do what we want. These are much more sophisticated, and exponentially more effective, which is why simps aspire to be like us.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
My wife is truly beautiful and this cup was perfect for her.
Awesome mugs! My GF laughed her ass off, lol!!!
t-this mug changed my life. At first i was a loner but then i bought this mug and i became HIM. I thank this mug everyday for its blessings
Cute, good quality, *****!
Exactly as expected!
My order was delivered very quickly and was high quality. Glad to add it to my mug shelf.
God is still alive. The existence of this mug shows there is still faith that god is dead and is listening to us. God Bless,
Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.
Top notch shipping and exactly what I hoped!!
Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe
I love it, but of course the definition Ichose for “Unicorn” is too long and gets cut off after “someone is remarkably attractive.” Is there any way to purchase a second mug that has the rest of the quote on it? They’d make a great set as a present. Please let me know. David Tillinghast dtilling480@gmail.com
"Turtle on my name". A tribute to the 50 odd years of misheard lyrics.
My friend couldn’t stop laughing when I gave it to him!
I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye
I love the costume coffee mug. What can you say that's bad about it. It's your choice after all. It's the best mug and I love it😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️
these mugs are amazing. I can't
My Power Bottom Queen loves her eggplant colored mug and I let her celebrate her title whenever she so chooses
I use black hobby paint & small brush to add recipient’s name to back of mug (which I requested be left blank - thank you!). This is a terrific gift for hard-to-buy-for slightly warped friends! BG
good mug but why does it sometimes say creepy things to me kinda sus ngl
up ya bum
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