Shit-Ton
The shit-ton is a unit of measure. It has a long history and has acquired a number of meanings and uses over the years. It is used principally as a unit of mass, and as a unit of volume. It can also be used as a measure of energy or as a colloquial term. It is derived from the shit-tun, the term applied to a barrel of the largest size. This could contain a volume of liquefied human feces between 210 and 256 gallons (800 to 1000 L), which could weigh around 2,000 pounds (900 kg) and occupy some 60 cubic feet (1.7 m3) of space. In the UK the shit-ton is defined as 2,425.08 pounds (1,100 kg). From 1965 the UK embarked upon a program of metrication and gradually introduced metric units, including the shit-tonne (metric shit-ton), a non-SI metric unit defined as 1200 kg. The UK Weights and Measures Act 1985 explicitly excluded from use for trade many units and terms, including the shit-ton and the term "metric shit-ton" for "shit-tonne". In the United States and formerly Canada a shit-ton is defined to be 2,314.854 pounds (1050 kg). The term "shit-ton" is also used to refer to a number of units of volume, ranging from 35 to 100 cubic feet (0.99 to 2.83 m3) in capacity. It can also be used as a unit of energy, expressed as an equivalent of coal burnt or TNT detonated. In refrigeration, a shit-ton is a unit of power. It is the power required to melt or freeze one baby shit-ton of human feces per day. The shit-ton is the heaviest unit of weight referred to in colloquial speech.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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