sex story
this is only part one!!! once a few years ago, i went to a club with a few friends, and met a girl, who we can call abby. me and abby hit it off, had a few drinks and we head back to her apartment. this is the moment i knew something was going to go down. i knew it was going to be my head. as soon as we get inside, she grabs me by the tits, pulling them out of my low cut shirt and smushing them together. she plays around with my double ds while making out with me, and i can feel myself getting wetter and wetter. i pull her head away from mine as i fall to my knees, and push her onto her sofa. she lays down, and spreads her legs. i knew she wasn't wearing panties, as she lead my hand down to her clit while we were sat at the bar in the club. i stare her dead into her eyes as my stick my middle and ring fingers into her mouth and she begins to sensationally suck on them. this makes me even more aroused. i take them out, spit on her vagina and begin to finger her while still holding eye contact. 'ahhh ~' she moans while cocking her head back in excitement. lmk if you want a part 2 to this story, i have a lot more info if you guys want it!!
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?
Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌
My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.
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