Sea Hag

Sea Hag “Sea Hags” are found in most coastal communities in Southern California and in many other beach environments throughout the world. They usually were cursed from early age with having large breasts and developed “out of control” egos from over attention by horny boys and men. They tend to have bleached blond hair and favor green & blue eye shadow. They are mostly loud, over- dramatic, gossipy and are recovering alcoholics, coke heads, etc. They belonged to the “mean girl” crowd in high school and enjoyed making fun of geeks or the fat kids at school. One major indicator sign of a “Sea Hag” are the Christian “Born Again” bumper stickers on their cars…such as “TRUTH,” “The Chosen” etc. They usually dress 20+ years younger than their age and from a distance might look attractive in a cheap “Barbie doll/hooker” sort of way, but up close, their shallow contempt emanates through their caked on makeup which easily betrays their age. On contact with a Sea Hag a feeling of mistrust and revulsion will come upon you due to the putrescence emanating from their lost souls. All Sea Hags are trouble-makers and several of their favorite past-times are sleeping with married men, pitting men in fights against each other over them in bars and befriending people to later betray them for their own selfish ends. The origin of “Sea Hag” might come from the Popeye cartoon character.