Scientology
Hoax religion founded by science fiction author and fucktard as a tax shelter, using material from his published works of science fiction as articles of faith. It is also known in its alternate spelling as "Sollontology", as coined by TV talk show genius Gorgeous George. Scientology is not to be confused with crap. Adherents of Scientology are primarily Hollywood celebrities, lawyers, and women who want to penetrate Tom Cruise. Scientology drama is all too common, and most of it is extremely amusing. For instance, to advance in the faith to OT level III to learn the tale of Xenu, the galactic tyrant who stacked hundreds of billions of his frozen citizens on planes that looked like DC8's with rocket engines, and hauled them over to Earth to be thrown into volcanoes for at least 100 years before blowing them up with hydrogen bombs and brainwashing them with a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for 36 days. The traumatised thetans subsequently clustered around human bodies, in effect acting as invisible spiritual parasites that can only be removed using advanced Scientology techniques. The cost of reaching OT III is only $360,000. Central to the belief is in alien past lives, such as being "decieved into a love affair with a robot decked out as a beautiful red-haired girl", being run over by a Martian bishop driving a steamroller, being transformed into an intergalactic walrus which perished after falling out of a flying saucer and being "a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago". All of this was on Wikipedia, so it is guaranteed the absolute truth. If you are completely and fully suckered in, you can join an elite sector of Scientologists, the Sea Org, which stands for "Sea Organization". This arm of the "Church" was dreamed up by Hubbard in the mid-60's because he was a) really drunk/doped out of his mind most of the time, and b) because he felt butthurt by the real U.S. Navy, who refused to give him ill-gotten glory and fame, so he made a toy navy of some real piece of shit ships. If you're a good enough and devout enough Scientologist, when you join the Sea Org, you must sign a contract that binds you to the Scientology religion, the Sea Org and L. Ron Hubbard for a billion years, pledging to "come back" in all your reincarnations to serve him for that time. In exchange you get some really nifty things... You get about $16 a week in pay, your personal I.D. taken from you and locked away so you can't jump ship, you get to do demeaning and degrading physical labour and give the Church tacit permission to put you in the "RPF" (Rehabilitation Project Force) which is a punishment gulag that will make you beg, whine and plead like a little bitch for that degrading regular labour back. You may even find yourself locked in a ship's chain locker if at sea, or in the basement of the Ft. Harrison Hotel with all that healthy asbestos. The RPF makes Gitmo Bay look like Club Med. In an interesting side note, while the crew of the Sea Org were sweating and toiling at sea on the Apollo, Hubbard's Sea Org flagship, Hubbard himself surrounded himself with nubile, blonde 13 year old girls in hot pants and halter tops that he dubbed the "Commodore's Messenger Organization" or "CMO". He did this because running Scientology is serious fucking business. Sadly for him, he was also impotent. Most agree that it is batshit insane, and Battlefield Earth was as good a movie as getting jackhammered in the urethra for 3 hours. Scientology is, however, a very important part of society; it is one of the main sources in the Western world for the lulz.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.
Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe
I got mugged A man mugged me and then said I had da big gaye
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the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"
A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
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Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
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Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
It understands me. this mug has treated me better than any girl i've ever dated, and every bro i've chilled in the same bed with. we've been though thick and thin, but mostly thicc. i used to be depressed, but now this mug holds my existential fears so i dont need to carry them with me. i even wrote a song about my mug: mary had a little mug, e-i-e-i-o how i wonder what you are, floppy dongs near and far, cherri had a real thicc mug, e-i-e-i-despaci-to
Sickm8 it was blooming gr8 for me GF. She bloody loved it. Onya!!!! ;)
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I can't stop putting weird things on the cup I love this website 😆
My nut hurts my nut hurts help
Why?! I can't stop doing lewd things to this mug, it keeps on telling me to stop but I respond with hitting it. PLEASE HELP ME! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
cure my depression really good i love it. also my dog cant stop doing things to it.
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