scally

A form of life usually represented on the evolutionary scale as somewhere below the 5th major string of amoebas. The majority of scallies are male, and can be identified by their characteristic very short and often blond hair, if they have any at all. The "mini-scally", a common variation, often stands tall at around one metre, and travels in smaller packs than the Scally does, which usually consist of two to five members for the Mini-scally, and anywhere up to 100 for the Scally. They try to appear bold by running into their unsuspecting prey, jumping and bouncing off them, contact occuring at the chest. But at the slightest reaction the mini-scallies run off to a safe distance, and shout after the normal person to 'ge bak ere or il bang ya!' The average scallies' IQ ranges from 30 to 40, although a large amount have had negative IQ scores, depending on the area.The best thing to do when attacked by a large group of scallies is to: 1. Retreat to a safe distance, preferably one with lots of people or authority figures 2. Laugh at their various reactions to your 'magical disappearance' 3. Wit until the crowd disperses, and pick them off one by one until your desire for vengeance is satisfied. The ordinary scally, when confronted with even odds, or those not in their favour by at least five to one, becomes cowardly and withdraws.