Ryan

noun: A person in existence with a unibrow and no pinky toes. Ryans generally exhibit erratic behavior, including Mirror and Tourettes Syndromes, intense random muscle spasms, Narcolepsy, and shreiking. They tend to prefer fried spiders and government clean rooms, and usually dislike water and the color persimmon. Some Ryans have been known to frequently wet themselves at the sight of 1996 Toyota Corollas, flies, manboobs, and wicker chairs. Also, Ryans tend to be allergic to toothpaste and nostalgia. If confronted by a Ryan, the recommended procedure is flirting in an Egyptian accent and making empty promises while polka dancing and avoiding eye contact and feeding him seaweed.