RUMS
Recto-Urethral Metamorphosis Syndrome RUMS does not have to be the end of the world! It's only the spontaneous formation of an anomalous canal leading from the urinary bladder to the colon. There are various treatments and support groups available depending on how bad the piss coming out of your ass gets. Various forms of anal neglect (ie. vigorous anal pounding, forgetting to wipe) are the impetus of the formation of a new aqueduct leading from the urinary tract to the puborectalis, a process known as anal fusion. No cure currently exists for RUMS. However, the following treatment options may relieve both you and your family of the grief, physical agony, and humiliation associated with anal drip: • Anal scraping -- Use your physician-prescribed anal pen to remove any exterior lesions that may form around the sphincter. Make sure the blade is duly sharpened beforehand. Please use caution during this procedure, as intense scraping of the anal region may exacerbate the amount of piss coming from your ass. • Rapid anal insertion (RAI)-- Insert the anal pen into your sphincter and leave it in place for 5 to 7 days. Repeat this process every 2 weeks until symptoms improve. Remove ONLY to defecate. • Emergency Anal Sealant -- Apply a dime-size dollop of Dr. Thesinger's Quick Dry Anal Epoxy® around the sphincter whenever anal drip reaches a constant, painful stream. Do NOT apply ointment more than 5 times in 24 hours. Use as directed. • Post-Anal Fusion Reconstructive Surgery (PAFRS): With the help of a break-through medical procedure known as PAFRS, doctors can successfully minimalize the daunting effects of RUMS. Once intensively tunneling into the sphincter with a laser-tipped anal pipette, doctors cauterize the aqueduct so as to divert all excess urine from the colon toward the urinary bladder; and away from the anus. This operation is reserved for patients with only the most severe cases of anal drip. Consult your anal specialist for advice. There's help!! Counseling Hotlines: 1-800-244-6373 1-800-382-5277 RUMShelp@yahoo.com For all your RUMS related needs!
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
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This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
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The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
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