plomb
The following is an updated short description of the word 'plomb'; use in context, conception and distinction follow... 1. Polite term for a physical turd/poo/crap/shit in a toilet that hasn't flushed for one of many possible reasons...(see i-vii below) 2. Used to endearingly identify one's offspring. 3. A humorous and unique word coined in the early seventies to convey the moment of impact and subsequent existence of (ideally) a well-shaped (circular in cross-section) and solid turd/poo/crap/shit in a toilet; By fusing "plop" and "bomb" this word describes the two most likely instances that flash into the non-Creator's mind upon detecting a plomb,(i) it's representative and symbolic status as a 'b-omb' by a Creator not one's self and (ii) the precise moment it 'plo-pped' (in the water) from within its Creator. 4. Lead (metal) in French and with close resemblance in many other tongues. Possible reasons for non-flush and therefore plomb: i. 'the Creator is still admiring its profile' ii. 'the Creator simply forgot to flush it' iii. 'the Creator is still admiring its subaquadynamics.' iv. 'the Creator failed to account for any excessive reading or dozing time (esp. after bowl-rise-blackout) and subsequent semi-permanence of plomb. v. 'the Creator is about to perform an autoptical check for consistency' vi. 'the Creator is peforming a control test to discover his/her intestinal impact on unchewed peas, bananas etc.' vii. 'the Creator has planted a deliberate 'plomb' for another to stop in his/her tracks and admire.
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this is my new piss mug
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I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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