Pilot Fart

n. A fart or series of farts (plu. Pilot Farts), that exist in the bowel ahead of a piece of crap (ass-tern) that virtually escort a large clump of faeces through the colon and out of the anus. They are most recognisable when one feels the need to have a dump and a series of pre-farts begin evacuating the ass hole. Scientists believe this is due to the plunger or piston mechanism of the faecal loaf seal that compresses and forces air through the bowels. A notable feature of the Pilot Fart, is the remarkably nauseating and revoltingly disgusting smell they discharge. This is believed to be as a result of the fart having direct physical contact with the faecal loaf while inside the rectum, which causes micro particles of crap to dislodge and become airborne and suspended in the fart - which is detected once the ejected fart enters the nasal cavity of the 'smeller', lodging itself on the sensory cells and being absorbed into the 'smellers' blood stream. The name Pilot Fart is believed to have originated due to the manner in which the flatulent air runs ahead of the turd, much like a wide load lorry or an escorting tug boat.