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Phoenix

America’s largest suburb and is not a city by any means. “The Valley” as it is called is actually a very fast-growing mesh of identical suburbs that comprise a very dull metropolis, for its size (almost 4 million people), in the Sonoran Desert of south-central Arizona. Phoenix does not constitute a typical large metropolitan profile by most standards and sucks, generally speaking. It isn’t New York. Isn’t L.A. Isn’t Chicago. Isn’t Washington DC. Isn’t Phily. Isn’t San Fran. Isn’t Seattle. Isn’t Miami. Isn’t Atlanta. And even isn’t Dallas-Ft. Worth. Why? No culture (illegal immigrants don’t count). No diversity. Not much greenspace. No rapid transit. No skyline. Not a major educational center (despite having ASU in nearby Tempe). Not a major manufacturing center. Not a major healthcare center. Not a port center. Not a financial center. Not many high-paying jobs. Nothing. It doesn’t even have many corporate headquarters when compared to many cities (US Airways, the worst airline in the country, is the only Fortune 500 company that calls Phoenix home). If you’re single and looking to meet someone, go elsewhere because Phoenix was ranked as one of the worst cities in the country for meeting other single people, especially those looking to get married. The city of Phoenix may be the 6th single-largest US city, in the nation’s 14th largest metro area, but Phoenix has nothing on metro areas that are even half its size. The Phoenix area is known for practically NOTHING and has no functional role whatsoever in our nation’s economy, which is sad, because most cities have some sort of identity or purpose. This makes Phoenix America’s largest “small town” or America’s largest suburb. And to prove it, Walmart is the Valley’s largest employer. Go figure. However it is a good place if you want to golf in the winter (and ONLY in the winter), hike, mountain bike or ski up in the mountains. Most people at urbandictionary who give thumbs down on negative definitions of Phoenix may be due to their heads being so stuck in the sand, that they haven’t realized the truth or haven’t even been to the coastal cities. If native Phoenicians don’t like it then may I suggest you try to change it? I moved here 3 years ago and will never poke fun of Chicago again. At least it is a major world city with world-class amenities and is everything Phoenix is not. Phoenix sucks! The people are not really very friendly either. They have almost a California mindset and not like what you would see in the Midwest or the South. Phoenicians, as its residents are called, generally have the worst personalities. They seem materialistic, introverted, egocentric, not very social, quiet and downright haughty or stuck up. Try going to Scottsdale. Most of the women there are stuck-up bitches where money, sex, materialism and sometimes partying are the only things that count in this life. The men are just as shallow and judge themselves by the size of their penis, the car they drive, the size of their house, how much money they make or how good looking their trophy wife is. Most Phoenicians are not just rotten people in their personal lives, but also AWFUL drivers on the road. If you don't believe me then drive in Phoenix or on I-17 or anywhere in the state. People don’t use their turn signal, they speed, drive wrecklessly, run red lights, tailgate, cut you off, flick you off, and Phoenix has numerous accidents everyday. Phoenix ranked as the worst city for auto accidents and was the number one city in all those things. Also, if your car breaks down or stalls on any road, drivers will scream at you or flick you off for causing a two-second inconvenience for them. They are not likely to stop and help you. And don't even get me started about the weather. Despite conventional wisdom of this Sonoran Desert urban hell, Phoenix does NOT have a tollerable climate in general. It is over 100 degress for 8 months, but the remaining months between NOV and end of FEB are good. Do you consider 115-degrees tollerable, let alone for eight months at a time? I didn't think so. Phoenix has an awfull drug problem, mostly from Meth being smuggled in from Mexico and the illegal immigrants that Phoenix tollerates. The city is a sanctuary city for illegal immigrants and it shows: violence, drugs everywhere, raids for illegal immigrants in a normally quite, suburban neighborhood and awfull traffic, because most of its Mexicans can't drive worth a dam, including the people who actually live there and belong there.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.

ha h.Apr 28

Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.

Michael T.Apr 28

I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother

Deni B.Apr 27

Super Funny Mug 😂

Emmanuel D.Apr 27

best mug ever spittin nothin but fax

Thomas J.Apr 27

i fucking hate your mugs and shirts

annetteApr 26
Review by joe M.

awesome product!

joe M.Apr 25

This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help

Quantavious B.Apr 24

The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.

normal g.Apr 24

It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy

Evan G.Apr 23

This mug made me horny.

Quandale D.Apr 23

looks perfect!!! we loved it

Thalia A.Apr 22
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I ordered 4 of your mugs -- and have received 3; hopefully, the 4th is on its way! So far, I've received "fame," "620," and "$" ... only needing "hulo." ...It might be a matter of me being patient, that the 4th mug is on its way. However, the 3 received SO far are all EXCEPTIONAL, in every way!!! Mark Moilanen

Mark M.Apr 22
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I love this mug with a burning passion in my heart, I have purchased 7 of these mugs and intend to continue. This mug has changed my life for the better

Quandale D.Apr 21

it's the best mug of the world !!!!!

michel j.Apr 21

wow! this mug is so thoughtful to giving to my wife!

deez n.Apr 20

The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant

Mark O.Apr 20

Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)

Barbara H.Apr 20

Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.

Joanna W.Apr 19
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I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.

CustomerApr 19
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