PDA (Pathetic Displays of Affection)

To those who thought there couldn't be worse than that couple slobbering noisily all over each other centimetres from your own face at rush hour on the tube (Public Displays of Affection) - think again. There's always Pathetic Displays of Affection. These usually occur when one or both parties is irretrievably inebriated. Sometimes followed by convenient memory loss the morning after the night before and/or heavy regret and shame felt by one or both parties. Almost without fail intoxication-related, Pathetic Displays of Affection can be physical or virtual - in which case, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, they can take the various but inevitably excruciating forms of drunken dialling, texting or even, more permanently so, emailing and instant messaging.