Panda

The most retarded animal that ever walked this earth. Due to its size it should eat things like a horse made of chocolate and whey powder, but instead it decides to eat the least nutritious food that exists: bamboo. Because of this low nutrition a panda needs to eat around 500 stems each day which takes up all the time they spend being awake. The rest of the time they sleep. They are almost extinct is for three reasons: 1. When the bamboo in the area they reside runs out, they are too lazy to move their fat asses anywhere else 2. They do not fornicate. But how can you blame them when they spend their entire day eating 3. Natural selection They are not yet extinct for two correlated reasons: 1. They look ‘cute’ 2. Human stupidity I hereby nominate the entire panda species for the Darwin Award.