Ocean Township

A sprawled-out, over-populated, and extremely congested suburban community located in Monmouth County on the Jersey Shore, sandwiched between West Long Branch, Eatontown, Asbury Park, Tinton Falls, and Deal. While the town has some diversity, it is mostly full of spoiled upper-middle-class kids who drive their parent's cars and can't handle themselves at parties. A lot of the guys who live here are loud-mouth pussies who talk a lot of shit, and mostly all the girls are skanks. In the summertime, the neighboring shore communities of Deal and West Long Branch attract an unwelcomed seasonal migration of bennies, specifically wealthy Syrian Jews from Brooklyn, Staten Island, and Manhattan. They greatly increase the ammount of traffic congestion and car accidents in Ocean Township during the summer, because they are just about the worst drivers imaginable. Anyone who has driven in Ocean Township in the summertime knows to watch out for that Mercedes Benz S550 with New York plates going 25 mph in a 40 mph zone, because they are about to get over to the left to make a sweeping right turn at 4 mph without using their turn signal and while talking on the phone. But by far the worst thing about Ocean Township is the overly-funded, overly-equipped police force that patrols the town in mass numbers, hunting for opportunities to meet their quotas and raise revenue to help patch up the multi-billion dollar budget deficit of the State of New Jersey. Instead of fighting crime, this self-righteous suburban police force of almost 100 officers spends the day racking up tickets for traffic violations and other minor offenses that no one gives a fuck about. They mostly prey on the 15-25 age group, indifferent to the fact that most of these young people are children of tax-paying home-owners. In municipal court on Tuesday mornings, you'll probably run into at least ten people you know; and count on paying at least several hundred dollars worth of ser-charges to the state. Fuck this place. Why the hell did my family decide to live here?