Number 16: The Chicago Running Man
You'd never expect this sexy ass mf Cryptid to grace your baby shower. The Chicago Running Man spans multiple mythos, but is most popular in American folklore. Legend has it, he holds the current land speed record at 784 lbs. and 19 cents. The Chicago Running Man will primarily use his knees to concuss his prey, which usually consists of Chicago Cubs. He especially loves the draft roster; they are a delicacy to him. The Chicago Running Man has escaped Foundation containment a record 48 times, and is currently on the loose. Some say, that if you play reggaeton loud enough, and at the right speed, you may be able to create frequencies that can slow down the Chicago Running Man enough to be seen with the naked eye, but be warned: it gets him particularly frisky and handsy. If you survive the encounter, you may experience a slight intense burning of the ass cheek, and handprint-shaped bruising along the ass cheek area. The Chicago Running Man, like all good Americans, is devoted to FREEDOM. Sometimes, in his spare time, he runs over to Socialist rallies and throws a bike lock, and often pins it on an ANTIFA member. The goal of this is unknown, but he has been found consistently doing this. The Chicago Running Man has a soft spot for crap-quality early 2000's YouTube video intros, as he discovered himself spiritually around the those times. More has yet to be discovered about this phenomenal creature; expect more reports in the future.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Cole M. got me one for my birthday, fastest sex ever
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
The price was a little expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
Great mug got one for my highschool crush
I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.
Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!
Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂
Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.
I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again
Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.
Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire
Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.
Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!
Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex
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