Nu Deathcore

A genre that doesn't exist yet, but it's only a matter of time before some money-grubbing bastard invents it. It will combine Nu Metal and Deathcore, but will also include undertones of Crunk, Post-Grunge, and Teen Beat. It will sound something like a mix between ICP, The Mentors, Toby Keith, Slipknot, Brokencyde, Leftover Crack, Limp Bizkit, Hawthorne Heights, Pantera, Underoath, Gang Green, Primus, The Exploited, Mudvayne, Sublime, Simple Plan, Lil Mama, Tool, The Number 12 Looks Like You, The Black Dahlia Murder, and Chingy. Where most underground music is generally considered to have a liberal bias, this music will from the get-go be aligned with extremely conservative views. This genre will demand an extremely glossy production, and lyrically it will set out to appeal to the lowest common denominator. It will be championed by Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Ted Nugent and followers of Pat Robertson and Sayyid Qutb as "wholesome". It will be featured extensively on daytime television on such shows as My Super Sweet 16, Cops, Judge Judy, Howard Stern, Jerry Springer, The O'Reilly Factor, Fox News, WWE, The Princes of Malibu, and Paris Hilton's My New BFF. It will also be played at American Football games and NRA meetings. It will set out to reject and ultimately undermine the developments of more challenging music, like Noise Rock, No Wave, Shoegazer, Glam Rock, Post-Punk, Industrial, Post-Hardcore, Blues, Free Jazz, Impressionism, Ambient, and all forms of the avant-garde. This music will set off the pattern of devolution in humanity, and will ultimately result in the end of civilization.