Ngatea

Possibly the anus of the Hauraki Plains, this locality is home to a rare species of human known as the Ngatean. The male inhabitants are typically good old farmer Joe types who can be found at the pub comparing their latest milk figures over a few pints, and the middle age females dignified and friendly. Young females of the species are renowned for their loud mouths, wide legs and K road-like appearance. Ngatean males tend to avoid them at all costs so they prey on out of towners or "new blood" (or "fresh D"). They have no morals, but are generous enough to give out free fish fingers.