Mosmeyer

this is how you'll know if you have a real-life mosmeyer on your hands: 1) also known as "principal doughboy," this person enjoys wielding his self-bestowed authority mercilessly while making sarcastic -yet still devoid of humor- jokes at the expense of others. 2) insists on styling his hair with the same 80's-esque whisp every single day, imagining that it makes him appear more youthful and spontaneous. 3) used to be a really cool guy but now is so uptight that even his psychotic children seem more reasonable than him- and that's saying alot. 4) is obsessed with having control in his interactions with others, possibly overcompensating for a lack of control in the bedroom